The behavior of catcalling women didn't appear out of thin air.
It stems from different actions that are too borderline to reprimand or congratulate. The fact that these actions have been normalized doesn't help either.
Looking back on my childhood, being conservative was the key to respect.
I remember I was a toddler in Sunday School and my upper thigh was itchy in my stockings, so I scratched it ferociously, ignoring the fact that the hem of my dress was practically up at my fingertips. The teacher abruptly stopped the lesson to correct my actions. She questioned me from the front of the room about my dress and I told her exactly what I was doing: scratching my thigh. She asked if I needed to go outside the room and use the restroom, which I knew was code for "That is very inappropriate, please stop. Either correct yourself or leave." I could remember how embarrassed I was as all eyes turned on me. I quickly straightened out my dress and we continued the lesson.
I didn't understand. My leg was itching, so I itched it. What was the problem?
Years later in elementary school, I was targeted for my heavy figure by some of the boys. They were fond of grabbing my breasts and behind, especially since they were bigger than the other girls (that wasn't a good thing back then). After a few occasions, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I wasn't one for speaking about what happened at school (especially since I was known as the tattletale of the class), but I wanted to know how to stop the grabbing. I told my babysitter (who I looked up to as a grandmother), who told my 9-year-old self this is the way boys showed their feelings. This meant that they liked me, but didn't know how to show it. I didn't believe it at first, but she was born back in Haiti, so if that's how it was over there, then I wasn't surprised that it happened in America, too.
Once 7th grade of middle school hit, my "popularity" rose tremendously. Every staff and student had heard of me, thanks to my place in the choir and the many other extracurricular activities I took part in. The boys had taken extra notice in me because of my body. My heavy figure from elementary was making its way into "grown woman" territory. I hadn't really noticed it, but some of the guys did. They'd compliment my body at weird times, but I was too naive to connect the dots. We'd sit together and they'd sit closer than most people or they'd grab at my body, but at this point, it was already embedded into my mindset that this behavior was normal for females to experience. If they acted like this, it meant you were friends. I could name all of the weird situations that my naivety wrapped me into, but there would be a lot to list.
It took me longer than I'd like to admit to realize that my body was introducing me before my words could.
The amount of catcalling I've endured is absolutely absurd and disgusting. May I include the fact that I'm still a minor by law?
Men have followed me home.
Men at LEAST twice my age.
The worst part about this is that more times than not, it's my fault.
I wore a tank top, so I wanted somebody to comment on my chest. My pants are tight and draw attention to everything below the belt. My dress leaves very little to the imagination.
EVERYTHING in a woman's wardrobe can draw attention, no matter what it is.
Females can not leave the house in peace.
Since single women are perceived as less of a threat to possible intruders, women can not stay AT HOME in peace.
Why doesn't this alarm more people??
Bigger females are targeted by kidnappers because they believe they're too obese to run, but at the same time, petite females are targeted by kidnappers because they believe they're too weak to fight back.
We can't leave home at night by ourselves. Okay...so we bring a friend.
It doesn't matter.
They can take us BOTH.
I started to ramble, but my words still stand. Why must I complete an entire mental questionnaire before I leave the house? Why do I have to avoid certain bus stops that have less "witnesses"?
Destroy the mindset that females ask for it.
Popularize the mindset that males should have common decency.
Is that too much to ask?
P.S: Not that it matters, but I don't identify as a feminist. I'm a girl who doesn't want to worry about danger that's solely based on her sex.
