In the Caribbean, there seems to be a culture of dismissing peoples' emotions. Often times, this is directed at young children. Young children in the Caribbean, or raised by Caribbean parents, usually have their feelings of sadness invalidated and dismissed by their parents or elders on the basis that they have "nothing to be sad for." This dismissal of sadness as an emotion that children are allowed to experience can have negative consequences on the child in the short-term as well as the long-term. The question is, why exactly are Caribbean parents so quick to dismiss their childrens' emotions?

I'm sure many people reading this who grew up with Caribbean parents would find this following dialogue incredibly familiar:

Parent: "Wah wrong with you?"

Child: "I'm just a little sad/upset."

Parent: "Sad??? Wah you have to be sad for? You have a roof above your head, food on the table, water in the pipe and you sad?"

This dialogue may be followed by the infamous, "y'all children too damn ungrateful" rant or "call friends and tell them my child had the nerve to be sad today" phone call. Either way, this has happened to many Caribbean children in the past, and still persists to this day.

The invalidation of childrens' emotions, speaking from experience, can lead them to not be able to express and understand their own emotions in the future. Emotional invalidation has led to many people bottling up their emotions and not opening up to anyone, eventually invalidating themselves. Therefore, when a child is feeling sad, he/she will keep it from their parents and everyone around them and suffer in silence. This invalidation does not only extend to feelings of sadness but also feelings of fear as well. When a child is afraid of something that a parent deems unreasonable, the response sometimes is, "Stop being such a baby! There is nothing to be afraid of!" which often leads children to feel as though something may be wrong with them. A more appropriate response from a parent would be, "I understand that you may be afraid, so tell me what about it makes you scared." This response not only tells the child that their feelings of fear are valid, but that their parents are supportive.

So, to Caribbean parents, please try to be more understanding and supportive of your children's emotions, and help break this cycle of invalidating peoples' feelings. Use more kind and caring words when interacting with your children. Trust me, children look up to their parents and will eventually internalize everything you have said to them, and the cycle will continue.