Captain Morgan Wants You To Run For President (And I Do Too)

Captain Morgan Wants You To Run For President (And I Do Too)

Millennial musings on the increasingly dark and drastic political landscape.

You read that right.

Captain Morgan, the rum brand, wants to amend the Constitution and change the age at which you can run for president to be lower. Their argument is that there are a lot of ‘millennials’ who are changing the world in other ways that could change the world through politics.

This movement has not been enthusiastically supported by really anyone, and before the 2016 election cycle, this would have been laughable and probably a joke to boost sales. But now, we have a former reality television star that might actually be president, so why not let a 30-year-old run for president?

If you don’t know, the stipulation that someone running for president has to be 35 years or older comes from Article II, Section 1, Clause 5 in the Constitution:

No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.”

As the Constitution tends to be, it is filled with language that is almost intentionally ambiguous. Does the person need to be a natural-born citizen or a citizen of the United States? How are they different? Here, they appear to be rather interchangeable. Does that mean Arnold Schwarzenegger could run for president? What about Justin Bieber?

The Constitution never specifies what a ‘natural born citizen’ is, and that been rigorously debated in the courts recently, especially recently with former candidate Ted Cruz running, who was technically born in Canada to a Cuban father and American mother. Is he an American citizen because his parent(s) were?

Now, there are a lot of people who hold up the Constitution as if it was ripped out of the Bible or something equally holy, and this comes up any time there’s a question with either of the first two Amendments. But it’s just a document, like anything else the government passes, and it has been and will continue to be amended as time goes on. (To be fair, though, I do like freedom of press; let’s keep that one around.)

Am I saying that Captain Morgan has a legitimate and good point? Goodness no. This kind of millennial-centric thinking isn’t going to go over well with literally anyone else outside of that group and will never get passed or considered, even if it does get the required 10,000 signatures.

I do think the idea isn’t in the wrong direction though. If Donald Trump is elected president, he will be the oldest president ever elected, older than Ronald Reagan, at 70, and if Hillary Clinton is elected, she will be the second oldest president ever elected, at 69. (Ronald Reagan was 69 and 11 months when elected). Some people were worried about John McCain being too old to be in office, and he was 71 when he ran against Barack Obama in 2008.

With age comes experience, I understand and respect that, but there’s something to be said about getting some fresh blood in the mix. I’m not saying that fresh blood needs to be Justin Bieber, and I’m also not saying we need a bachelor president at 25 (can you imagine the media hysteria that would cause?). Fresh blood doesn't equate to inexperience, it means new people with new ideas.

I’m 22 years old. I don’t have a lot of experience watching politics outside of the last maybe eight years. I do know that something has gone terribly wrong to have a government that doesn’t act on behalf of the people and doesn’t pass legislation, a government that goes on recesses or shuts down because they can’t pass the budget.

I’ve watched people accuse our president of not doing anything and at the same time ridiculing him for trying to do something. I’ve watched black people, gay people, transgender people, honest police officers, refugees and children slain and nothing happen. No policy change or coherent debate had. I remember someone saying the moment they let children (read: babies) die and did nothing, that was when they cared more about their wallets than their people. I wanted to not believe them but repeated reinforcement has shown me this is true.

I don’t know if its cynicism or desensitization, but I already have lost a lot of faith and hope in this government and this country. I don’t like the political system anymore, and I’m sure I will get chuckles and head shakes and ‘how naives’ because of this opinion because, as I said, I’m 22. What do I know? What should I care? I’m a millennial; I should go back to my selfie stick and my SnapChat and my "Pokémon Go" and let the real adults handle politics. Right, because condescension has worked so well in the past.

I don’t know what I want to say here. This article started out as a little anecdote about a rum company trying to drum up publicity, but here we are, in the dark reality that our country is on the fringes of what we all hold so dear. The worst part is that we can’t even be mad at ourselves. We chose this, we asked for it. Maybe I'm just tired of all the runaround.

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.

Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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That One Time I May Have Shot An Ex-Police Officer

Yeah, you heard me.


In England, we don't really have guns, maybe hunting guns but I think it's pretty rare. Anyway, point is, barely any guns. I have never seen a gun, shot a gun, I don't even know anybody that owns a gun so as an exchange student in Oklahoma it's a novelty to visit a gun range.

I was pretty nervous about shooting but the instructor was super nice and told us how to hold the gun and load it before we went into the range. He also let us ask any questions we had about guns and explained the process of getting a gun in Oklahoma and he said he had visited Europe and was talking about England, and how he used to be a cop and opened his own gun shop. Basically a really really nice guy, which honestly makes harming him ten times worse.

We went into the range and we were shooting a 22 caliber and another guy at the range, I'm assuming a regular, asked if we wanted to fire his revolver so of course, we said yes.

This gun was definitely heavier and the trigger was super hard to pull but he kept his hand on the gun whilst I struggled with the trigger and then I fired it.

I heard a bang and I heard a yell.

I turned around and he was holding his thumb and there was blood dripping onto the floor. At this point, I thought I had shot him, so you can imagine the sheer level of panic that I was feeling.

The color drained from my face and I was frozen solid and all I could say was, "are you okay?" which was answered with a "Ma'am, put the gun down."

Basically, I'm freaking out and I look over at the lads for some form of reassurance, which was met with them looking equally as freaked out as me. So I asked,

"Do we need to call someone?"

"Yep. We are definitely gonna have to call someone"

So at this point, my nerves were shattered and I had no idea what was going on or what the procedure is for this sort of thing. I mean, the guy also took it like a champ and barely even winced and kept repeating "little lady, you're fine" – safe to say I did not feel fine nor did the situation, in my eyes, look at all fine.

Luckily the regulars knew what to do and took him to the ER so we were left in the store with another regular shooter.

Everyone else went back out to shoot but I didn't feel like assaulting/ shooting/ potentially murdering anyone else so I decided to sit this round out and talk to the woman that stayed with us and he called and said it wasn't me, something came off the bullet or gun and went into his hand- so no I didn't actually shoot him and he was going to be okay.

The point of this now very funny story is that whilst guns are cool they're also pretty dangerous.

I have no idea how someone can participate in these mass shootings because I didn't even shoot someone, only thought I did, and it was probably the most terrifying moment of my life.

So, if you are around guns, have fun, be safe and try not to send your instructor to the ER.

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