As a gluten free girl living in a gluten-full world, life isn’t always easy. As soon as the words “I’m Gluten Free” come out of your mouth it seems like time stops and everyone just stares at you as if you just told them you ate poo.
Following this awkwardness is the questions. Everyone asks the same ones. I’ve considered making a voice recording of my answers so that I can enjoy my gluten free meal without being interrupted to answer questions such as “Why would you put yourself through that?” (I don’t know, I rather miss the stabbing stomach cramps), “Can you eat doughnuts? What about pasta?” (No, annnnnd no) “What do you eat?” (Food that does not contain gluten).
After you get through the interview process, your interviewer will then inform you of their aunt who was gluten free for a week. Then tell you all about how she stopped because it was so expensive, at which point you reply, “That’s Nice.” (Insert nod and fake smile). After this follows, another string of questions including “Is it expensive?”
Then comes the advice brought to you by the internet. “I heard being gluten free is a fad.” (Tell that to the one percent of the population whose intestines are damaged from gluten.) “You’re lucky; I read that eating gluten free makes you skinny!” (Actually, I exercise regularly and eat a well-balanced diet. I have to do everything everyone else does to be “skinny”. Most vanilla ice cream is gluten free.)
After your newfound gastroenterologist gives you their advice, they like to finish the conversation by proclaiming, “I’d never be able to be gluten free!” If I had a penny for every time someone told me that, I could have a lifetime supply of gluten free cookies. To them I say, “It’s tough sometimes, but I manage.” In my head, I say, “If you got sick every time you ate I’m sure you could figure it out.”
For those of you who understand the struggle, know that you are not alone. We gluten free gals have to stick together (unlike our gluten free bread). And for those of you who are wondering, no I can’t eat doughnuts.
