As the end of my second fall semester is coming to an end faster than I would like to admit and I am looking at the future, I know the next chapter of my life is going to be okay because I know and trust the author.
This past week or two has been about getting ready to register for classes for next semester. Looking at what classes I need to take next for my major and my minor and making it all work together in one schedule is stressful enough, but being a sophomore means signing day is approaching whether I am ready or not. This caused me to become overwhelmed with panic as to whether my original plan to major in psychology is my best move. I began to wonder if psychology would help me when it comes time for a Masters program if communications would be a better fit. However, psychology is interesting to me, communications, not so much. So I started freaking out because what if I needed switch my major to something I did not like? To make things worse, I felt the need to figure out everything asap because restriction is soon, and I need a plan.
No amount of research was helping; I was just too preoccupied to make sense of anything. So I finally took some initiative and emailed three different professors from three different Speech-Language Pathology Master programs to get there opinion. To much avail, the set my mind at ease. They assured me a psychology major would be just fine. They even gave me a few recommendations for other classes to take that would fulfill prerequisites for the SLP master program and would be helpful when it comes time for applying to graduate school.
This lifted a huge burden off my shoulders and gave me much relief. However, I also took a step back and felt a sense of guilt. I felt guilty because I was not trusting God fully. What upsets me the most is not that I did not trust God, but that I was essentially telling God I did not believe he was big enough or powerful enough to handle my situation.
While I stepped away from God, He remained with me through every step. No amount of stress, planning, or research I do for my version of my future, it will never be greater than God's plan for me. I can make all these plans and have all these hopes of where I see myself, but the reality is, God is my author; He is writing my story. Every story is different. They have different characters, different obstacles, different endings, and different purposes. I may not fully understand why I run into certain obstacles or know my ending or even my full purpose in life, but my story is not over. God is not finished with me yet. I am okay with not knowing exactly how my story will play out because my author not only made the mountains but can tell them to move. God created me as His masterpiece and my story will be a continuation of His art. These next few years are very important for me, and at times all I can see is blank pieces of paper. However, I will not fear because God is holding the pen and I cannot wait to read my next chapter and see where He leads me.
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