I’m writing this in hope that someone like my situation will feel that they have had similar experiences and that they are not alone in the matter.

However, in order to tell you the story I have to give some backstory to my own childhood. When I was in kindergarten, I did not know much English and I went to a predominantly white Catholic school. I, however, had lots of friends who helped me learn very quickly, but my principal placed me in speech class because I tended to have a “stuttering” problem. I loved it though. I got to be competitive, and play board games. During that time, my speech teachers worked with me so that I would not have a Spanish accent and in turn I lost a lot of the Spanish accent to adopt my American one. In the second grade, my teacher wanted to diagnose me with ADD because I spoke too much in the class with other students. Specialists came evaluated me and concluded that I was far advanced in my class and that I never needed speech therapy.

So now, I will fast forward 7 years later, when I was in high school. I was dating a loving American guy at the time and we went to a concert in his town. We ran into a young family friend of his and I introduced myself “Hi my name is Kamila, what is your name?” “Hi I am ____, why do you talk funny?” My boyfriend at the time hushes her and I just stand there still for a moment. In my head, I’m thinking what’s weird? I am known as la gringa in my family in Puerto Rico because I can’t get the accent right and now I cannot get the English accent right that they tried to train me for three years to have.

For me, this was my culture shock. I wanted to fit in. I straightened my hair. I wanted to be me and I thought that meant to just blend in. I was still proud of who I was, but I rather not be exposed as a stereotype every time I do. I wanted them to get to know me before laying me into the categories they had.

Nothing dramatic happened to me that led me to that phase of my life. I went to a very accepting school that embraced diversity, nonetheless, one negative experienced impacted the way I would further see myself. Although this comment was in harmless nature for the little girl, it impacted how I saw myself, the manner in which I spoke, and the way I presented myself in professional settings.

As a matter of fact, it’s the little moments that have affected me most. I have had times when people find out my last name, and then they say “Oh, but you do not look or act ____”. They think that I should be loud and not interested in college. They think that I should not have good grades or be conservative at times.

See, that’s the problem with societies. They tend to box people up into things they think that certain people can or cannot do. If someone in the category proves them wrong it’s kind of like they are the exception, but there is a lot of us out that are making a big impact so … help me out here, how does that make sense? So, we go around thinking and feeling that we are the exception and that is how they keep us individualized. They don’t want us to see that there are many of us wanting to make an impact because if they can divide and conquer, it makes us oppressed, for lack of a better word.

I cannot say that I relate to everyone’s experience, because that can never be true. But, us as Hispanics, African Americans, Blacks, LGBTQi, we get that “second opinion” effect. It happens to us when someone sees your name on a resume and then it’s not the person they perceived it to be or when you do not get an interview at all because of your name. When someone looks at you funny and is trying to pin point what is off about you. Or maybe you’ve had your sexuality be questioned because you do not act the way you are supposed to be. Or maybe your friends try to complement you and say, “You know most people like you are___, but your different” and that’s just wrong. It is the little things that make the biggest impact.

For that box that people have placed you in, and who is reading this I am sorry. They do not have the right to say that you cannot go to war when you have been doing so for years. They do not have the right to say that you don’t have the criteria that we are looking for if you do not act in the manner that they wish you would act. They do not have the right to treat you different because they perceive you as incapable.