Caffeine helps me think.

It just does.

It renders my thoughts coherent, quick, keen, and comprehensive. And quite honestly as someone who identifies strongly as an overthinker, I reeeeally like having thoughts that make sense and come clearly to me.

To explain, I could take a thirty-page reading assignment and turn it into an all-day affair, simply because I'm not focused on the big ideas, but on the details. This is not a good thing. Ever.

I'd to like to think I'm smart enough to handle school tasks like this, but I begin to doubt myself when a little idea doesn't click in my brain. I then begin to worry that maybe the detail is SUPER important and then, WHY ON EARTH can I not understand it? And what am I missing? And am I even doing this right?

And then I realize that five hours have gone by and I haven't finished a project. And then I realize I have a million other projects to do. Then I start to worry about those. Then I realize that I won't actually be able to focus on those until I stop worrying about my current assignment, which won't be completed until I continue doing what I'm doing and then... EVENTUALLY I will finish it. Details and all. If I'm lucky, I'll understand most of it. But sometimes I don't.

And then, naturally, I overthink my capacity to overthink.

I do this A LOT.

Making plans... Yeah. I'm pretty bad at this. Not because I'm bad at communicating, but because I'm indecisive. I might think ooh, where can we go? What can we do? Do I want to do that? What will happen if we do this? Is this a good idea? Can I miss this party? Which party will be more fun? I should study, right? Friends? Any ideas? Indecision.

And at the end of all these assignments, at the end of a semester in school, at the end of a weekend with friends, at the end of the end... when it is ALL over and done... I come to the presupposed, undeniably unremarkable conclusion, that none of the details I worried about mattered one bit. And I wasted a lot of my time.

And this is bad. And it happens to me—almost every day.

So, coffee. Coffee? Yes, the entity that is crucial to this article, which I will preface now.

I am not a caffeine addict.

I don't need coffee in my life. I don't drink it every day or every morning. The barista at Starbucks doesn't know my name, and I rarely hang out at coffee shops. I don't have a favorite mug to drink out of—actually I do but that's beside the point.

But alas, I do like coffee A LOT. And here's why.

When I drink coffee—I now realize that I'm going to sound exactly like a caffeine addict, sorry—something strange happens in my head, and quite honestly its pretty awesome. It's like the stars align and everything makes sense—either that or I'm hallucinating.

I've described this caffeine-related sensation to friends before—a few different friends, actually— and they have told me that I sound like I'm taking some hallucinogen and it's really weird.

Who knows? Maybe I'm just super affected by caffeine! Maybe I'm insane!?

I guess I just like to put it into words. Because even though I am not— and know I never should be— reliant on caffeine, it's certainly a big support.

In a nutshell, coffee helps me think. I'm able to comprehend reading material faster, answer questions easily, and just move through projects in my day. I can check things off of a to-do list at a stable pace and everything simply gets done faster. I feel more accomplished, more confident, and more competent.

I stop overthinking. Without coffee, it's like the motors in my brain are operating at an ordinary speed. With coffee, it's like they're racing imperceptibly, but for some reason, it's like I thrive in this race. My thoughts, however fast they arrive in my mind, are more understandable.

I start to tap my foot as I read a long assignment, and it's like the coffee wills me to finish it faster.

I guess I'm jittery. I can't sit still. But still, it's like I'm excited to finish whatever it is I'm doing, and so I do. And it's awesome.

And maybe I need to worry about these occurrences with coffee, but hey— I need to survive school. I won't knock it.

Coffee is the my inverse kryptonite, my secret weapon.

It helps me move at a slightly quicker pace than I normally would so that I can keep up with the never-ending day to day.