Cafe Intermezzo Might Be Attractive, But Its Food Certainly Isn't

Cafe Intermezzo Might Be Attractive, But Its Food Certainly Isn't

The fancy lighting and intricate decor doesn't make up for low quality food.
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Cafe Intermezzo, have you eaten at your restaurant in Avalon? Have you pulled up one of those fancy chairs made out of cheap wood to sit down and have a meal? Did you eat the food? Did it taste savory to you?

Did the shock overwhelm you when you saw the dry crepe arrive on the dish without any sauces? Were the multitude of adjectives and promises from the menu fulfilled when the dish arrived at the table? Was the presentation lacking in creativity, especially missing the colorful swirls and careful arrangements present in the sweet crepes?

Did you deem the uncut, limp, stringy spinach to be, in fact, “fresh and chopped?" Did the Gruyere cheese suddenly become frightened of the customer and run off before its arrival at the table? Did you hope the dried, stale tomatoes would pass as beautifully cooked? Were you aware that the artichokes were similar in taste to sour milk?

Did the bitter taste not overtake your taste buds like a parasitic worm, causing an immediate urge to drown the foul flavor with an abundance of water? Wasn’t the crepe awfully stubborn in staying on the plate, refusing to be cut into pieces to facilitate the process of consumption? Even more concerning, were you aware that Noah could have built the ark within the time it took for my meal to arrive?

Did you know the Cafe Bach espresso was six times more expensive than the premium roast coffee from McDonalds? Are the coffee beans made out of gold? Were you seriously expecting consumers to pay a bucket-load for a bitter, unembellished beverage? Do you think it’s alright for the main meal to arrive before the cups have been cleared away?

Were you aware of how much space each miniscule table had? Did you know that I was fearful of falling plates and utensils for the entire duration of my meal? Were you hoping that I would not be able to see my unappetizing dish through the dim lighting? Did you know that you had hired Severus Snape to be our waiter? Did you create an unappealing ambiance with the hopes that no one will wish to dine here, enabling you to take the day off?

Is the entire restaurant a very costly facade masking appalling meals and horrific service?

Would you mind if I never dined here ever again?

I hope not.

Sincerely,

A Very Disgruntled Customer


Disclaimer: This article is a mimicry of a food review by Pete Well in the New York Times.

SEE ALSO: To The National School Lunch Program, Have You Even Eaten Your Own Lunches Before?

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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8 Reasons Girls Who Love Tequila Are Better

Because if she can handle tequila, she can handle you too.
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There are all kinds of alcohol stereotypes out there but the one associated with tequila is probably the worst: tequila makes you crazy. But if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that women who drink tequila are one-of-a-kind.

Whether it's loving or fighting, you'll never find anyone who does it better than a girl who just straight up loves tequila, and here are a few reasons why that is.

1. She's independent

A girl who drinks tequila is probably the same girl who has absolutely no problem telling it like it is. She knows what she wants and goes after it.

2. She doesn't care what you or anyone else thinks

Oh, you have a problem with me taking shots and having a good time? Well, get over it! Bartender, a shot with salt and a lime please!

3. Always dancing

Tequila is an 'upper' so instead of sitting at the bar doing nothing, let's dance! Let's get moving!

4. There is never a dull moment

Speaking of dancing, a girl who drinks tequila is always down for a good time. Whether it's going on an adventure or seeing who can take the most shots, a tequila girl is always down to party.

5. While everyone else is starting to get sleepy, she has all the energy

Like I said, tequila is an 'upper' so while the other girls at the bar are starting to feel groggy and sad, she's all over the place having fun and partying on the dancefloor.

6. She's stronger than the girl crying over a vodka cranberry at the bar.

Sad over a breakup? Don't go for the vodka... Tequila will make you feel better in no time! Plus you can challenge the hot guys at the bar to a shot taking contest.

7. Tequila is healthy for you

Tequila is a probiotic, so some tequila a day keeps the doctor away. Yay for shots!

8. She can hold her own when it comes to alcohol

Any girl who can shoot some shots at the bar all day and night can handle alcohol, which means she can handle herself too. You won't have to deal with her constant breakdowns and mood swings because she will be too busy ordering more shots.

Cover Image Credit: Whiskey Riff

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5 Things You Need To Know About Thinx Underwear

Those of you with a uterus, listen up.

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I first heard about Thinx underwear two years ago while on a subway in Washington DC. I thought the whole idea of leakproof underwear sounded a bit too much like diapers and brushed the product aside. Fast forward two years, my mom states that she is going to buy a pair to try and offered to get me one too. With nothing to lose and everything to gain, I decided to give it a try. I'm sure glad I did!

If you're not familiar with Thinx allow me to explain. It's a company that prides themselves on creating underwear specifically designed for individuals to wear during their periods. Looking at the reviews, everyone seemed to love them, and after trying them out for myself, I must say I like them quite a lot. Here are a few important things to know about Thinx underwear.

1. It doesn’t always replace your pads/tampons

Thinx may not replace tampons, but it can help cut back the amount you use.

https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2018/08/scotland-free-tampons-shutterstock.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1

I learned this the hard way that if you have a heavy flow, you can't wear Thinx on its own. If you have a light flow, you could get away with only wearing these, but for us poor souls with heavy flows, I recommend making these your new period underwear. You never have to worry about any leaks, even at night!

2. They don't stain

Behold! No bloodstains!

https://www.ubykotex.com/-/media/ubykotex/periodinfoandadvice/articles_0075.jpg

If you leak onto this underwear, fear not. Merely rinse them in the sink and then throw them in the wash like normal and boom! Clean underwear. No more ugly stained underwear to keep in the corner of your drawer.

3. There’s a bunch of cute designs/colors

There's something for everyone!

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0795/1599/t/248/assets/product__all-star-set_1_2560x.progressive.jpg?226286

One thing I must say about Thinx is that they have a wide variety of options. There are several different cuts, and almost all of them come in different colors options as well. They seem to be introducing new colors all the time, so keep an eye out for one you like.

4. They are super comfy!

These feel just like normal underwear.

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0795/1599/t/248/assets/product__cheeky-2_2560x.progressive.jpg?226286

When I got my pair, I was worried that this underwear would feel like wearing a diaper or something else uncomfortable, but that was not the case at all! This underwear when you're wearing it feels like normal underwear, and while you're washing it, it feels like a swimsuit.

5. They donate to a good cause

Everyone should have access to period products. Period.

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0795/1599/t/248/assets/menstrual-equity-slider-1.jpg?226286

For every pair of underwear that you buy, the company donates a pair to someone in need. It seems like most are sent to developing countries where women do not have access to proper menstruation hygiene products. In addition to this, Thinx was designed to help cut back the number of disposable pads entering landfills. They designed this underwear to be a more sustainable alternative for people with periods!

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