Cafe Intermezzo Might Be Attractive, But Its Food Certainly Isn't

Cafe Intermezzo Might Be Attractive, But Its Food Certainly Isn't

The fancy lighting and intricate decor doesn't make up for low quality food.
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Cafe Intermezzo, have you eaten at your restaurant in Avalon? Have you pulled up one of those fancy chairs made out of cheap wood to sit down and have a meal? Did you eat the food? Did it taste savory to you?

Did the shock overwhelm you when you saw the dry crepe arrive on the dish without any sauces? Were the multitude of adjectives and promises from the menu fulfilled when the dish arrived at the table? Was the presentation lacking in creativity, especially missing the colorful swirls and careful arrangements present in the sweet crepes?

Did you deem the uncut, limp, stringy spinach to be, in fact, “fresh and chopped?" Did the Gruyere cheese suddenly become frightened of the customer and run off before its arrival at the table? Did you hope the dried, stale tomatoes would pass as beautifully cooked? Were you aware that the artichokes were similar in taste to sour milk?

Did the bitter taste not overtake your taste buds like a parasitic worm, causing an immediate urge to drown the foul flavor with an abundance of water? Wasn’t the crepe awfully stubborn in staying on the plate, refusing to be cut into pieces to facilitate the process of consumption? Even more concerning, were you aware that Noah could have built the ark within the time it took for my meal to arrive?

Did you know the Cafe Bach espresso was six times more expensive than the premium roast coffee from McDonalds? Are the coffee beans made out of gold? Were you seriously expecting consumers to pay a bucket-load for a bitter, unembellished beverage? Do you think it’s alright for the main meal to arrive before the cups have been cleared away?

Were you aware of how much space each miniscule table had? Did you know that I was fearful of falling plates and utensils for the entire duration of my meal? Were you hoping that I would not be able to see my unappetizing dish through the dim lighting? Did you know that you had hired Severus Snape to be our waiter? Did you create an unappealing ambiance with the hopes that no one will wish to dine here, enabling you to take the day off?

Is the entire restaurant a very costly facade masking appalling meals and horrific service?

Would you mind if I never dined here ever again?

I hope not.

Sincerely,

A Very Disgruntled Customer


Disclaimer: This article is a mimicry of a food review by Pete Well in the New York Times.

SEE ALSO: To The National School Lunch Program, Have You Even Eaten Your Own Lunches Before?

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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12 Symptoms You Get When You're Addicted To Chick-Fil-A

It is your one true love.
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Chick-fil-A, I love you.

Truett Cathy, I owe you my life.

If you love Chick-fil-A, you truly have withdrawals when you're away from it. You may suffer from these symptoms, just like I do.

1. No other breakfast will compare to CFA's.

2. No other fast food joint has hash brown's like CFA's.

3. When you go on vacation, you type in Chick-fil-A to see if there is one nearby.

4. If there isn't, you eat it as soon, I am talking, like, the second, you get back from vacation.

5. You truly don't understand how people "get tired of Chick-fil-A"

6. Besides the occasional change up on Sunday's, CFA is always your number choice of fast food.

7. You legitimately crave it more on Sunday's.

8. Nothing on the menu seems gross to you.

9. Yet, you seem to get the same thing every time you go.

10. Their ice cream is literally the b o m b.

11. You defend CFA to any and every hater.

12. CFA is probably your actual one true love.

SEE ALSO: The Top 10 Struggles Of Every Chick-Fil-A Employee

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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4 Breakfast Spots Near The University of Kentucky That Will Actually Get You Out Of Bed In The Morning

These places will satisfy all of your breakfast cravings.

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If you're a breakfast foodie like I am, you know that is an absolute priority to find the most popular breakfast spots despite the city you may be in. You don't want to visit the touristy and basic restaurants that everyone else goes to, but instead, you are determined to uncover the locations that are the best of the best. Most foodies will go to great lengths to discover these places. As a University of Kentucky student and major foodie, I have searched all over Lexington to find my favorite places to visit on Saturday and Sunday mornings. This took my entire first semester and many trips to the ATM, but today, I am now blessed to say that I am a regular at all 4 of these incredible breakfast spots.

1. The Great Bagel

The Great Bagel is one of my all-time favorite restaurants to visit on Sunday mornings. The restaurant offers a variety of bagel sandwiches and freshly squeezed orange juice, and it makes for the perfect early morning start to a day filled with homework or relaxation.

2. Chocolate Holler

Though not a true restaurant, Chocolate Holler is one of the most popular coffee shops near the University of Kentucky. Because it is only a 3-minute drive from campus, Chocolate Holler is always buzzing with UK students who come to socialize or study. The coffee shop is most well known for its chocolaty drinks and the music is great there, too!

3. Stir Krazy

Stir Krazy is a local smoothie bar down the street that serves protein shakes, smoothies, and tea. Though It only consists of these three beverages, the shakes at Stir Krazy are enough to fill you up for breakfast or lunch. Each shake or smoothies range from 200 to 250 calories and serves as the perfect energizer before a workout or a filling recovery drink after a workout.

4. La Madeleine

La Madeleine is a French breakfast and lunch cafe conveniently located on campus (and only a 30-second walk from my dorm). Their breakfast is served all day long and their croissants are to die for. I highly recommend building your own omelet for the most fulfilling experience. Not to mention, their iced caramel macchiatos are a great refresher on the side.

No matter which city, state, or country I am currently in, I make it my mission to eat as a local would. In Lexington, Kentucky, these four breakfast spots are guaranteed provide you with a plethora of different types of food to get you through even the worst cases of morning hunger. Though these places are my current favorites, I am now looking forward to containing the search for more breakfast restaurants, cafes, and juice bars throughout my next four years in this city.

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