Poor. It is a word used all too often by the average college student. From the dollar menu at Taco Bell, to having the same notebooks and folders since freshmen year, we've all been there. Many incoming college students, who believe they are on top of the world, have no idea about the gigantic pile of overwhelming debt they have just created. Without realizing this they go out and spend all of their saved, hard earned cash during their first semester to show off to their new freshmen friends. "Should we buy a new tv, stereo system, and intricate set of black lights we'll never use?" "Uhh....YEAH BRO! I delivered pizza once a week all summer, I've got bands on bands." After this early phenomenon wears off and morale, as well as mom and dad's money, are both running low, you will come to the following conclusion:

You need a job.

This is an important decision, and the only advice I can forge on the subject is NOT to become a waiter. Sure, there are a few benefits to waiting tables. Tips are money in your pocket, you can usually work some pretty flexible hours, and free food is readily available, but this is all just a façade. As part of the job you have to learn how to be friendly and polite no matter what, write and abbreviate under intense pressure, and clean up after people who have finished eating. Those are all things you can put on your resume for later. ;).

However, the essential trait of a waiter is obedience. Parallel to a dog who is being trained, a waiter is taught to immediately come when called and to fetch whatever the order-giver needs, and is commonly given a treat (tip) for being a good boy. I kid you not--I have heard, "You're a good boy," after delivering someone's food...in which case I somehow managed not to bark and roll over. Waiters also wear the name tags given by their masters, must remain well groomed and odor-free, and even have to be permitted to use the bathroom .

Nevertheless, every now and then someone will throw you a bone. Often people will feel sympathy for you, and similar to the way one would pet a dog, a customer may caress your hand and tell you about her friend who used to be a waiter but is now a doctor.

How kind of people to remind you how far away you are from real success...

Also over time, friendships may occur between you and your fellow waiters/waitresses. In which case they will then yell at you repeatedly for no reason from their section of the restaurant about what they need, similar to a dog pound.

Unfortunately, in writing this article I realize I offered little solution to the struggling college student in search of money, but the best advice I can contribute is on what NOT to do. In your quest for wealth and happiness, do not begin your journey at a hapless opaque diner or a 'first name of the owner' entitled restaurant sporting year round Christmas lights. Being a waiter is a monotonous and aspiration-killing occupation, where the only person who has it worse off than you is the dishwasher who spends most of his time either weeping or waiting until he gets into his car to start crying again. Either way, in the end it's your decision how you would like to make money during your college years. I am just advising (for your own personal welfare) against becoming a waiter. After all, by the time you finally get out of your "Hotel California" of a restaurant and look for a real job, you won't have much to put on your resume. After all you, can't teach an old dog new tricks.