Cheers to all of the klutzes of all of the friend groups out there—this one’s for you! Correlation may not be causation, but heck, it seems that maybe our broken toes can tell us a little something about our changing social habits over the years. Ideally, you don’t actually break a toe every year but if you did, it might look a little something like this:
1. Freshman year—The rando at the party
You know what I’m talking about. There’s a new definition brought to the term “standing room only” at these parties that so many of us find ourselves at freshman year. Lots of bodies, lots of sweat, and if you’re lucky some random dude will step on you and crush your toe on your way out! One year of college and one toe down.
2. Sophomore year—The friend you tried to take care of
So, by this point, you’ve moved away from the random party scene and probably found yourself just getting together with your group of friends when you’re looking for something fun to do on the weekends. This is all fine and well until you decide to play “mom” and end up with a broken toe in the process. Two years of college, two toes down.
(disclaimer: your mom skills only go so far when your friend is stubborn and bigger than you—don’t push it)
3. Junior year—The world probably just hates you
In the thick of junior year, sometimes even low-key gatherings with friends seem like too much effort. If you’re bored, the ideal situation is when you can get your friends to come to you! Until you run down the stairs to let them in, and trip along the way. Three years of college and yes, you guessed it, three toes down.
4. Senior year—The end of an era
Given your decreasing motivation to leave home for anything but class/work, your chances of a broken toe are also decreasing. Nice! Maybe senior year will serve as the calm ending to an era, all ten toes intact. However, if you’re one of the truly unfortunate klutzes out there, perhaps you’ll break a toe in your sleep. Four years of college, four toes down.
If you find yourself here and are planning on going to graduate/law/medical school, calcium supplements may be in order. Best of luck!
