Dear You, again.

I'm not finished with you-

almost like the way you told me to

"hold on"

and how

"it would be okay".

I fucking lost every bit of the sacred, white purity I was born with.

I am not done feeling violated when you got off free- nothing at all.

The drive home was more tempting than usual, having an anxiety disorder and driving made me want to floor it off the road.

I wanted to cry- but I couldn't.

I felt that if I cried, I would succumb to being your victim.

I refuse to be a victim,

Especially yours.

All that night, September 28, I tossed, and I turned- seeing nothing but your face, every direction I turned.

I was so fucking cold - physically and emotionally because all my walls were knocked down by you.

Leaving me so vulnerable,

naked,

and scared.

Trust was a two-way street, but you tried passing me in my red Jeep, knocking my entire life off of my road to recovery that I had so far conquered.

I'm back to square one. I hope you're happy with the way you manipulated my entire being- not just my body but my soul, too. and for that, I will never forgive you.