Every so often, one is forced to think critically about their life and analyze their own actions. This moment of introspection came for me this Saturday. I was staring at my latest purchase — a pair of high top, white, Commes Des Garcon sneakers. Those sneakers were my priciest purchase, but they weren’t my only purchase this week. I got paid on Tuesday and I was broke by Friday. This tragedy just reinforced what I already knew – I have a shopping problem.

You see, I am not a hype beast. I do not feel the need to follow the trends of my generation. I do not feel less-than if everyone has on Jordans and I have on dingy white Converse. I have my own style. Although the Commes Des Garcons are a trend right now, I had my own reasons for purchasing them: I love hearts, and that’s their logo; they’re simplistic; and they would look good with most of outfits. However, they are legit just Converse with a heart on them and cost twice as much. I knew this wasn’t a smart purchase but I still bought them because they were “nice” and I had events that I could wear them to.

I may not feel the need to keep up with trends, but I do seem to have this compulsion to shop with every invite. Every time an event is coming up — even for a girl’s night out — I have to buy something new. I have to always look my best and seemingly the best is not something that is already in my closet. If I was a Kardashian, this would be fine. Sadly, I am a broke college student and I honestly cannot finesse this shopping habit.

My self-reflection helped me to identify a pattern that seemed to be hereditary and societal. To my Africans, you can agree when I say our parents are show stoppers. For every baby naming ceremony, wedding, holiday and social gathering, they go all out. Hundreds to thousands of dollars spent on bazins and gold. Our parents spend so much money to stunt at other people’s functions! God forbid that they’ll be caught in the same bazin because people will talk and that is just unacceptable. Our parents have instilled the notion that to be the best, you have to look the best. We got the belief that our clothes play a really big part in our lives and our identity mainly from our parents.

In addition to our parents influences, society is to blame, as well. For my urban readers, I’m sure you all are familiar with the term "'hood rich." That seems to be an aspiration of many of my peers from the 'hood. Where I’m from, people spend so much money on clothes, to floss and to stunt...but are still living in cripplingly poor conditions. Balenciaga’s on project stoops, Louis Vuitton’s walking in pee-ridden elevators, $500 hair extensions wrapped in 99-cent “silk” bonnets. I’m not sure who we’re competing against, who we’re trying to impress or who can actually afford this lavish lifestyle but chooses to still suffer in poverty.

Let me clarify, this is no shade intended. I am trying to expose the conditioning we all fall victim to. Whether its African gold or foreign jeans, we feel that we have to have the best. I am not saying that because you live in the 'hood that you don’t deserve the best. However, if rent is due and you’re struggling to keep up with bills, there is no reason why you should be wearing hundreds of dollars on your feet! Let’s be financially competent! Everyone deserves to treat themselves, but we can’t go broke trying to stunt for other broke people. We can’t go broke trying to floss. We can go broke trying to keep up with goals. Whose goals are these? For most of the people I know, these aren’t realistic goals. Look honestly at your bank account, humble yourself and purchase what you can afford.

A lot of this, like I mentioned, is all mental. We are suffering from the mentality that every time we come into money we have to spend lavishly the second we get our funds instead of making it last. I am tired of the seeing young people risk their freedom, scamming, just because they “need” designer clothing. It isn’t worth it. Our clothes don’t determine our worth. We have to invest in ourselves and try to surpass the struggles we were raised in. We can’t do that if on pay day we cash out and then have to be on a ramen-noodle diet for the rest of the week. We deserve better! Spend a little, save a little. I have been struggling with my spending habit for years. It’s not an easy habit to break. But it isn’t impossible, either.

Side note: I returned the sneakers. I’ll buy them when they won’t put a notable dent in my finances.