Lifetime's 'Britney Ever After': The Review

Lifetime's 'Britney Ever After': The Review

A review of the Lifetime biopic of pop star sensation Britney Spears.
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This was a sight for sore eyes.

Saturday, February 18th, was the day Lifetime aired Britney Ever After, a bio movie about the life of pop-star sensation Britney Spears. The film showcased Spears from her highest of highs of the late 90s and the early 2000s to her lowest of lows during the mid-2000s, with Britney making her comeback in 2009 to today.

It would have been a great movie, if many of the events in Spears's life were not cut out, or overdramatized. And I know this is something I should've expected from Lifetime. Remember when they did that biography about R&B singer Aaliyah? Or how about the horrible Full House biography with the terrible miscasting of the entire Full House cast?

And as Lifetime always does, the casting of Britney Ever After was as terrible as it could be. For example, there is a scene that takes place in 2008 and the actress who portrays Britney's sister Jamie Lynn Spears still looks like she is eight years old. In reality, Jamie Lynn was 16 and pregnant (which led to the cancellation of Zoey 101, no one is still bitter about that right?)

And oh man did they rip into Justin Timberlake! First off, his character is portrayed as this clueless boyband singer lusting after Britney. And when their relationship was on the rocks, Justin is seen as this jealous and cold-hearted man. And their breakup resulted in a hilarious dance-off. Hopefully, Timberlake was taking the night off while this movie was on.

And do not get me started on the casting for NSYNC. That is a whole article in itself.

I feel like the only person who benefited from their casting choice was Kevin Federline, Britney Spears's ex-husband. The fake Kevin Federline looked ten times better than the real Kevin Federline!

As for the story, it was all over the place. Whoever put this film together needs to learn a bit more about pacing.

An example of this is where the film is set at the MTV Video Music Awards in 2008, and then we go to Las Vegas in 2004 where Britney is with Jason Allen Alexander who she married and then divorced not long after the wedding. If you are going to make a movie about a person's life, at least put the events in the order in which they occurred. Or at least know how to master a real flashback.

And don't think we noticed the differences between the outfits Britney wore in real life than to the outfits that were shown in the movie. The iconic denim dress Britney wore in 2001 turned into a denim jumpsuit. *sigh*. And the iconic hot pink wig Britney wore in 2007 was now a blue wig. *bigger sigh*.

If you are looking for a good laugh, then Britney Ever After will surely leave you holding on to your stomach and spitting wine all over your television screen (not saying that it happened to me, but hey it could happen to anyone.)

And if you were wondering where Britney's music was, Spears never gave permission to Lifetime to use her music. So here is a Britney tune that is near and dear to my heart.



Cover Image Credit: ABC News

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10 Reasons Your Big Sister Is The Best Person In Your Life

"There is no better friend than a sister, and there is no better sister than you."
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As much as I hate to admit it, my big sister might be sort-of, slightly, cooler than I am.

Sometimes. She's the one I call when I can't call mom and the only one in the family who can properly handle my attitude. Big sisters are the people you'd choose if they weren't already family, and here's why.

1. She is your first and truest friend.

Big sisters are (literally) there from day one. They see every dirty diaper, every bad haircut, and every melodramatic breakup. They deal with every bad day and drama queen attitude and still love you in the most unconditional way.

2. Her closet is your closet.

For some reason, her clothes always look better on you. Funny how that works, huh? With a big sister comes a big closet, and who doesn't love having a double wardrobe? I'd also like to take this opportunity to apologize for the clothes I will never give back (but I'm not really that sorry).

3. She knows what it's like to deal with your parents.

Anything you could possibly be going through, they went through it first. It's kind of like having an instruction manual or a key to the future. Either way, it's always nice to have someone who will always understand the struggle.

4. There are no boundaries.

Wanna dance around in your underwear all day? Cool. Life talks while she's on the toilet? Also cool. There's no awkward moments or changing in the bathroom with the door locked. There's just the kind of freedom that only comes with siblings.

5. Thanks to her, you know about all of the cool movies/music/fashion trends from years back.

Thanks to my sister, I have every Too $hort and Ludacris song you could ever think of downloaded on my phone. I've seen every cheesy '90s movie, and when a fad from 10 years ago comes back in, I already have the hookup.

6. She tells you like it is.

We all have those friends who tend to sugarcoat everything. Yeah, sisters don't do that. She's the first person to tell me when I'm making a terrible decision and that I really shouldn't triple text that boy again. She keeps it real with me and deals with my attitude, and that's why she's the best.

7. Her home is always open.

Sometimes you just need to get away from life and binge watch Netflix, and sometimes you need all of that plus your sister. She always has her door open when you're two seconds away from losing your mind, and she also has good takeout and a dog.

8. She knows what you're capable of.

My sister knows exactly who I am and what I can do. She knows when I'm not doing my best, and when I need to be set straight. She's always there to remind me who I am and what I'm capable of accomplishing. She's always been my biggest fan.

9. She's a lot cheaper than therapy.

For some reason, my sister always knows just what to say. Even if I don't see it at the time, she's usually right (don't tell her I said that). Big sisters are like wizards, somehow they always magically make you feel like life's gonna turn out alright in the end. If she wasn't already awesome at everything else, I'd suggest she be a therapist.

10. She will always be your go-to gal.

No matter the situation, she will always be by your side. There is nothing you could say or do to make a big sister leave, and that's why they're the best. Whether it's a speeding ticket, a mean girl or you just need to laugh, big sisters are always going to be there to lift your spirits and set you straight.

I couldn't make it without ya sis, I'm sorry for ratting you out on Thanksgiving that one time, and for running away at the zoo. Thanks for taking me to see Aaron Carter even though he's way too old to still be singing "I want Candy," and thank you always for being the best role model, sister and friend I could ask for.

Cover Image Credit: teaser-trailer.com

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Poetry On The Odyssey: It's a Girl

An ode to the little girl raised to be insecure.

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They raise little girls to be insecure

Little girls grow to be big girls

People always ask big girls why they're so insecure

Big girls aren't quite sure

Day after day the big girl can't keep up

She's exhausted

Her soul feels worn

The big girl learns to grow hard

In a way, she's a bit stronger

People call her a bitch

Bitch

What is that?

How can she let that affect her

It's simply the only way to be her

She mourns that little girl

Hoping that one day

She'll be strong


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