Dear Fear,
Everyone says you are the enemy but a part of me believes you are a friend, the best of friends in fact. You keep me safe and cautious. You make me aware of potential hazards. You give me a reason to not engage in acts I know could be largely detrimental to me. I feel safe when I know I am listening to you. I feel safe when I am not fighting you. I feel safe with you in control.
On the other hand you keep me from living life, you make me box myself in a cage. I adhere to your rules, I can’t go outside them and I can’t think outside them. Risks are out of the question; and so is life, because life is risk.
Fear, I know you are only trying to protect me but I can’t live under your rule forever. I don’t want to. I tell myself I’m living but I know I’ve just been standing frozen, following your rules. You keep me from making any sort of decision. Your logic is that decisions set things in motion, and once you flick that first domino all the others have to fall too. Any decision, any potentially life changing decision I try to make, you come up with a million reasons why I should just stay in my place. I shouldn’t do this and I shouldn’t do that because of consequences, all you seem to scream at me is that there are always consequences. Yes, everything has consequences but I know not all of them are bad.
So fear this is my breakup letter to you. You were my guardian and my safe heaven for so long, but now it’s time I truly learn what it means to live again. Thank you for giving me a place to rest temporarily but it’s time I pack my bags and move on. Maybe I’ll make all the wrong decisions again but maybe I won’t, and I trust that I won’t. There I said it, I trust that I won’t make the wrong decisions. I trust that I am smarter than that and I trust my judgement. So fear I’m going to take risks, but I will always keep in mind those lessons you taught me. I will always consider the consequences of my decisions and my actions, but I will no longer live under your rule. Goodbye.
