Miscommunication in Dating and Relationships
Dating

Boys, If You're Scared To Piss Her Off You Already Have

Communication is way less complicated than it has to be.

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No one likes a crazy pissed girlfriend, right? Clingy chicks you've gone on a few dates with? Girls you genuinely like but just aren't worth the relationship commitment? That's all reasonable. Not being on the same romantic page with someone doesn't make you a bad guy, but the way you handle it can.

Consider this: women like to talk. Go ahead, laugh. We do. It's how we communicate and it's how we figure things out. Like a fuel tank, we have to say all the "gunk" or incomplete ideas to navigate articulating our feelings. Men tend to prefer thinking in the privacy of their own mind or just walking away from things they should think about. Men and women are wired differently but instead of comparing or writing off another's way of thinking, perhaps we could work together to find a middle ground? Perhaps women should "get the gunk out" alone or with their trusted friends before they lash out at a partner. Perhaps men should speak their thoughts out loud instead of leaving their counterparts in the dark.

Everyone is so afraid to express their honest opinions because they don't want to hurt the person they are dating or in a relationship with. Yet we hurt each other so much anyway by attempting to avoid it! If you retain anything from this article let it be: if you're not on board with dating someone, TELL THEM. It's becoming ridiculous how scared guys are to say anything. If they are head over heels, they're scared to say so because they're scared to be vulnerable. If they aren't feeling it, they're scared to make anybody feel bad. Yes, you very well may upset them but they'll be even more upset when you ghost them, lead them on, or lie to them and make it a much bigger conflict than it ever had to be.

Culture tricks men into thinking they can't express their feelings but I don't see anything "manly" about misleading, lying, or disappointing women. Being honest doesn't make you less of a man, being true to yourself doesn't make you less of a man, and expressing your feelings doesn't make you less of a man no matter how many misled sexist leaders and family members there may be in our country and world. A genuine man who is open to communication is the most attractive kind.

I've learned a lot from watching the married couples in my family and life. The stronger couples confront each other when they're upset. But it doesn't have to be a battle if we don't build it up that way. It can simply be a respectful conversation, a time for each side to get their fair chance to explain themselves uninterrupted. Many conflicts can end there, simply hearing the other side and knowing what was said or done that hurt or upset the other. Maybe it continues onto an argument. Disagreeing isn't always a bad thing, that's how we grow.

Most women give men way too many chances because we're caught in this social web of should's and shouldn't's. If we don't give men excuses for every time they don't respond or don't put effort into spending time with us, we're being "too hard on them." If we do give men all the excuses, we become mindless Juliets waiting for their Romeos to "figure it out." Why is that middle ground so impossible? I've been told to just "get used to it" and that "that's just how men are." That isn't fair and brainwashing the next generations to believe that is completely unacceptable. Raise them standards, y'all!

Boys, from any girl you've ever liked: Just answer the text. Surprise her by calling her. If she makes you happy, tell her and then show her by spending a minute or two scoping out something to do together. If you aren't interested, call her or see her and cut it off like a gentleman. There's no shame in that. I still have to push myself to tell a guy what he means to me because I'm fearful of scaring them away. But does that mean I shouldn't say how I feel? No, it doesn't. It means someday in the future I will find someone who enjoys my company as much as I enjoy theirs, and so will you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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