To the boy who broke my heart (twice):
You were perfect at first. We had so much in common and got along so well. You made time for me with your busy schedule and you made me the happiest girl in the world. We spent most of our nights together cuddling and watching Scrubs, The Office, or Gossip Girl. We laughed together and napped together, we fell in love on a blue futon while watching That 70's Show. And then things ended. You had some personal issues going on and our budding relationship struggled, so I let you go. I missed you so much during our time apart, but I knew it was for the best.
Fast forward to seven months later. You texted me out of the blue and apologized for not giving me the respect I deserved. I was stand-offish at first, but after two weeks of talking and reminiscing about our past, we were together again. We were going out on real dates now. You took me to see A Dog's Purpose during opening week because you knew that was my favorite book. I showed you my favorite spot in my town where I like to go and think and relax. You drove me around your town and showed me where you worked, where you went to school, where you spent most of your time. Life was feeling perfect again and I was happier than ever.
Suddenly, nothing. Less than a week after we celebrated our first Valentine's Day together, you weren't being talkative. When I brought it up, you wouldn't talk about it. Instead, you ignored me. I had no idea why, I didn't know what was wrong. I went five days wondering what was wrong, sending you a text here and there letting you know that I was worried and that I still loved you. Finally, it was over. Just like that. You were suddenly off of my friends list on Snapchat and that's how I found out it was over between us. No conversation, so closure, just an empty feeling of wondering what went wrong after you wanted me back so badly just two months earlier.
All that I can say after this is thank you. Thank you for giving me the strength to realize that I deserve better than what you gave me. I took you back once, but never again will I make that mistake. With the help of my best friend (thank you Lex), I realized that I did not do anything wrong. I realized that you had some issues from your past relationships that you were not over. I realized that I deserve the respect of a conversation, even if it will end in heartbreak. But most of all, thank you for teaching me how to love. You taught me how it feels to be loved by someone who truly cared for me, even if it was for a short while. You gave me love and I will be forever grateful for that.
It will be hard to move on from you again. You were my first love and you will always have a special place in my heart. I will always love you, but I won't always be in love with you and that makes it easier to move on from you knowing that.
Maybe one day down the road, we will run into each other and look back and laugh. Laugh at how young and stupid we were, laugh at how we should have known that we weren't going to work out. But for now, it's time to say goodbye.
Goodbye my love,
Mandy
