There is a lot of stigma in our society today around being a parent young. People will say that "you're too young" or "you can't afford to have a kid that young" or even "you're throwing your life away if you have a kid young."
I used to believe that since I'm young, I can't have a kid. I can't afford one, I can't possibly take care of one, I'm throwing my life away, and so on. I'll be honest, I wanted to have a kid. I was only 20 when I became pregnant, and the only thing I was scared about was the judgement that would be placed on me because of it. I was scared my family would be mad, I was scared people would say I got "knocked up by mistake," I was scared that people would shake their heads and say that I'll never be successful. I really let that get to me.
When I announced my pregnancy, I was surprised about how much love and support I got. Yes, some people just assumed that since I was 20 that I got pregnant by accident (which I didn't...it was planned), but the love trumped that negativity. Ever since I was in high school, I always said I wanted a kid because I wanted someone full blood related in my life. Backstory: I'm adopted and the closest thing to blood family I had growing up was my little brother (also adopted) who is technically my half brother by blood.
When my husband and I found out the gender of our little one, I was honestly upset. I cried because I wanted a girl. Little did I know having a boy would be the best thing ever. We decided to name him Michael Blaine. His name is special to myself and my family because his middle name was my grandfather's middle name. He was the most important person in my life, and what better way to honor him? It's bittersweet to say, but he actually passed away the day before my son was born, but it's special that he gets to carry on his legacy.
So how is being a mom at 21? Well let me tell you.
I have a best friend for life. I tell him every day that he's my best friend. We do everything together...Target runs, grocery shopping, car rides, etc.
He shows me unconditional love. The love from a child is a different kind of love that I never knew I needed. He loves to wake me up in the morning if his dad lets me sleep in, he gets SO excited when I come home or enter a room that he's in, he gives me lots of hugs, he laughs with me, and so much more. It's true what they say, boys are mama's boys.
He has helped my mental health. I am diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I've never felt happier in my life than I do now. At first I had bad postpartum depression, but after that dark cloud passed, I haven't felt the affects of my mental illnesses nearly as much as I had in the past. I like to say that he is my personal depression medication, just without actual medication. He knows when I'm sad and will do anything and everything to cheer me up...even if it's offering me a toy he's playing with.
I am more motivated than ever. My studies started to take a turn for the worse before I got pregnant. I had gone through a terrible breakup my freshman year of college and I never fully recovered from it. I felt like I just completely lost my motivation to do well in school as a result. I am just now starting school up again, and I have never felt more motivated than I do now. I want to be successful, I want to earn my degree, and I want to do it all for him. He is my motivation and will forever be.
I have learned to love the little things in life. So yeah, it's easy to love the little things in life without a kid, but having a kid makes you love them more. Going to the zoo is a cute date, but with my son it's so much fun. He LOVES animals and I'm so excited to go on more zoo adventures with him for the rest of my life. I have learned to love laughs more, especially his. I have learned to love looking outside and seeing what we see from our window together, even if it's the same exact thing every time. He gets SO excited about a car passing by or a cloud in the sky.
I'm a mom at the age of 21. Is it easy? Not all the time. But let me tell you, it's worth it. My life has changed for the best. Michael Blaine is the best thing to ever happen to me. I wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world. He is everything to me, and that is enough.