To The Boy Who My Illness Was Too Much For

To The Boy Who My Illness Was Too Much For

I do not blame you, at times it is too much for me, too.
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Backstory: I began texting a guy that I did not know super well, but had seen around a few times and knew a few of his friends. We knew each other well enough to exchange numbers, but not well enough that he knew about my illnesses.


Dear Boy,

We were not dating, we were not even "serious" yet, and that is why I cannot understand how my sickness affected you so much that you could not even carry on a conversation with me through text any longer.

You were funny, charming, kind, and I began to trust you; I guess that's where the flaw was. I finally felt comfortable enough with you to confess my truth -- my illness. Each day we talked I felt as if I was lying to you by not telling you about everything that was wrong with me, but I feared that me being ill would change things, so I pushed it off as long as I could. Once I finally built up the courage to tell you, my fear became reality. Your response to me finally opening up to you was, "I don't even know what those are." And those seven empty words were the last I heard from you.

I would like to apologize to you.

I am sorry that the wheelchair overshadows my personality that you, yourself, labeled as radiant.

I am sorry that my sense of humor is not good enough to make you forget the long list of diagnoses.

I am sorry that my smile you called wonderful is sometimes made crooked by pain.

I am sorry that you think all of the things that are wrong with me outweigh the things that you thought were great about me.

I am sorry that I am not able to walk away from these illnesses like you were able to.

But most of all, I am sorry that your ego is bigger than all of my problems combined.

Cover Image Credit: Kali Postin inspired by Claudia Kiedrowski

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Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

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Ladies, It's Good To Be Honest With The Boy You Like, Please Share Your Feelings

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As girls, we're often told that we need to be chased, and we need to be pursued and that the guy needs to make the first move. And even if we do want to tell someone how we feel, it's terrifying to take that first step because you don't know how they're going to respond. Maybe you'll scare them off, maybe you'll lose their friendship, or everything will be awkward for a year and a century.

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Ladies, I know it's scary to be so vulnerable and risk getting hurt. But don't be afraid to open your heart. God will open and close the doors and lead you to the right place. All you can do is be yourself and be honest with yourself and the people around you. Maybe it doesn't go well, maybe it all blows up and you're disappointed. Well, then it's time for that door to close. Who wants to be with someone who can't handle an awkward conversation every now and then?

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