I know it can be difficult to let someone go, no matter how much time has passed, what you've experienced and who you've experienced those things with, the adventures you've been on, and the new people you've met. Letting go isn't easy, and it's not supposed to be. But it's necessary. Let him go, keeping doing your best to let him go.
Why let him go?
Well, first off, you two aren't together anymore, and there's a reason for why that's the case. No matter your reason(s) for no longer being together, ties have been cut, and you need to move on. Both of you need to move on. He's not in your life anymore, at least not in that way, and he shouldn't be, and neither should you be in his. You need to stop reaching out, stop trying to force yourself back in, or holding on to the hope that he'll be back again. Once you let all that go, you'll feel more at peace. And if he's meant to stay in your life, then one day he'll be back in it. In the meantime, focus on letting him go. It's your life without him now, and you need to make the best of it. He doesn't matter anymore.
It's also a great time for self-discovery. Eventually, we all start to mold ourselves by our significant other. It's easy to love ourselves in someone else, someone we love and care for unlike anyone else. So, by letting him go, you're accepting that it's time to find yourself again. To acknowledge and learn all the beautiful, fantastic things that make you YOU. You don't need a boy to tell you what you do and don't like, or to influence how you act, what you wear, what you say, etc. It's your life, and you need self-love and self-care and to be comfortable knowing who you are without someone else. Let him go.
Since it's now your completely your life without worrying about a significant other, it's time to experience new things! Meet new people! Go outside of your comfort zone! Try new things, go new places, attempt new hobbies, check out new music, books, and movies! Get out there, girl. Experience all the beautiful things life has to offer you.
Plus, there's always going to be other guys who will come into your life. You'll be held again like he once held you, you'll kiss and hug and laugh and be happy with another person. You'll be stronger, fiercer, better with and for someone else. You'll fall in love again, maybe experience another heartbreak, but you'll grow and do better the next time around, once you let him go. You'll make new memories and see and do new things with someone else that you never dreamed of before.
You'll find love again. You'll find comfort in someone else again.
But you won't know what and who else life has to offer you until you let go of that boy. He doesn't matter anymore. But you matter, and you need time to heal and grow and blossom into someone new and better, and you don't need him bringing you down and stopping you from your full potential.
Let him go. He's not worth it. He doesn't matter anymore.
It's your life now, make the most of it. Be patient, learn, and grow. There's someone else out there for you. You just need to heal first, and the first step of healing is letting that boy go.