No matter your sexuality, I am sure you have bought a drink for someone or a drink has been bought for you. But what really goes on in the minds of those who are purchasing the drink or those who are accepting the drink?
In movies, we see the many meanings of buying and accepting a drink—sometimes they are unrealistic, but some of us can relate to those unrealistic experiences. I asked people from the ages of 21 to 42 what buying and accepting a drink means to them; if it means some sort of expectation, an obligated conversation, motives (if any), attraction, or just because you are having a good time and are feeling generous. These are their answers:
Frankie, 21.
[If I am buying the drink] “It's usually if I find attraction towards them, sexually. Not saying buying them a drink I expect anything in return, but it's a signal that I’m attracted to them sexually”
[If the drink is bought for me] “It means they show some sort of interest in me and it usually is the forefront offlirting and probably to have some fun. I would assume they'd want a hookup for the night."
Benito, 27.
“If I buy a girl a drink, I don't expect anything other than a thank you. Nobody is obligated to give you anything. That frame of thought is what's wrong with our generation.”
Luz, 23.
“To be honest about 85% of the time, I feel like the person buying me a drink always wants something in return—like they have a right...since they bought me a drink or something.”
Maria, 26.
“If I am buying the drink it says: ‘I have the balls to come up to you,’ I don't need to wait for a guy I can't do it myself.
[If he is buying the drink] “I feel some guys don't know how to approach women so by offering a drink is a easy way to start a conversation.”
Alex, 27.
“Honestly, If I buy a girl a drink, I better get more than a handshake and a thank you.”
Mayra, 27.
“The setting was usually a nightclub and, yes, I felt like he would linger—but it was usually just to have a conversation. I never felt like someone was too pushy or all over me... well ultimately, I think they're trying to get to know me to bang me. It's like opening a door to what could be or what could arise from starting a dialogue after the drink is purchased and accepted.”
Uly, 29.
“A lot of times people that want to buy you a drink, expect something. Think of it as an investment. They are investing money into you. But other times people just want to buy you a drink just to buy you a drink. You kinda have to learn how to read them.”
Valerie, 31.
“I used to think if I bought a girl a drink, it was a wasted effort, meaning I wasn't going to get anything out of it. So you can say it was kind of expected. So, now, if I buy a girl a drink...I expect nothing other than their company.”
Anonymous, 42.
“When I buy drinks for random women or men, I personally do not expect anything in return. Maybe just a good conversation at the moment. It's my way of saying, ‘Hey I’m having a good time with you so let me treat you.’
"When a drink is bought for me, it just depends on the person buying. If it's some random stranger I haven't talked to or met, i usually won't accept it. If it's from someone I was talking to, then I would take it. If they expect something in return (like a sexual favor) that would be my discretion whether to allow it or not.”
There you have it. You might relate to one or more of these or maybe none at all, but whether you do or don't we have all been on the side of purchasing a drink or accepting a drink - from generosity to sex, we are all human and some of us perceive drink situations differently.
How do you perceive a simple gesture such as accepting a drink?
