Birth

Birth

It was blacker than black. Its darkness covered every light.
Drew
Drew
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“Why did he leave why did he forsake you?”

he left because he could not understand…he knew what was to come.”

“What was to come for us?”

“No—for them.”

*******

He was tending the garden, She was gathering him some more water. They both have been working the fruit garden all noon long and yet not a sweat dropped down from their brows. He then took a moment and paused his farming. He raised his head and saw her approaching him. He gazed at her and thought of the life that was to be shared—so many more joyful walks and conversations with her in this—this beautiful place. She then dropped the container of water at his feet and noticed his gawking. She then let out a chuckle. He awoke from his day dream and joined in the small laughter. They then continued tending to their garden.

*******

“I still do not understand his choice.”

“His choice, was for himself and himself only.”

“So, pride arose in him?”

“Many terrible things entered his mind in that one moment”

“Such as?”

“Such as: pride, selfishness, greed and lust, confusion, and from ignorance…hatred.”

“Because of that mirror of his.

“It was not the mirror who turned his heart against me but his own.”

*******

It was born. It was blacker than black. Its darkness covered every light.

It became instantly apart of nature. Their nature.

It quickly entered every part, from the head to the heart. It grew like a powerful cancer. Its thorns would cut every finger. It was hungry and its stomach would never be full—its appetite was never ending. It will have its feast.

*******

“What have they done?”

“They have denied Me…”

“Then…why are they still walking? You casted justice on him; why not on them?”

“Have I not?”

“Well, yes, you have punished them, but certainly if you could not stand for it when it came to his choice; certainly, you cannot stand for it with them and their choice.”

“And…what is that?”

“That is death. It will be fruit of all their pain. It will be passed down from generation to generation till the end—it will be their greatest heirloom.”

*******

She was with child. She was resting inside from the scorching sun.

He was farming. His sweat drenched through his clothes. He was exhausted but knew He had to continue in order for enough food to be provided for incoming mouth to feed. The sun was above his head and was pouring its heat upon His back. He had been tending to His garden since sunrise. There were little plants spreading all around His crops and slowly but surely killing them. The more he saw of these infestations, the more irritated. His hand and fingers were blistered, his eyes were stinging from the sweat. He sat and rested for short moment. And, in that short moment, He tried to recollect all that had happened, how they ended up here—all that went wrong.

*******

“After all this do you still feel the same?”

“I will love them, I will always love them.”

“It seems they will not share the same sentiment.”

“No, they will not.”

“Then why? Why keep them?”

“Because I love them.”

“…Where is the justice? You are Just!”

“I am just as Merciful--and full of Grace.”

“You, You cast him away but keep them? How can they mean so much to You?”

He asked Me the same question, ‘Why do they mean so much to You?’…”

“After all we have seen, it is a valid question.”

“And, because I love them, is a valid answer.”

*******

He gained just enough strength to engage back into his task—His chore--when all of sudden She called for Him in panic. She was inside, now standing and frantic. He ran to her and saw a puddle below Her and water dripping down her legs. She looked at him in a nervous excitement. He laid Her down and they met eyes with one another and smiled.

For the next many hours, there was screaming from inside. She had never felt such a pain. It was if a dagger was puncturing her. She actually had the thought She may not live passed this experience. He was trying to encourage Her, to be there for Her. Nothing He could do would ease this pain—She must endure. She was sweating more than he was when He was working on the land—for She was working bringing Her child. His eyes opened wide—the feet emerged, then quickly the calves and then the thighs. The baby then became stuck in this place for a while. She lacked any more strength to push. He was afraid to pull the tiny legs out from the Mother, thinking He may injure the baby or Her. After some time, He looked Her in the eyes and gave a nod. She knew she must muster strength that She did have to finish this. He took and held Her hand—The Woman screamed intensely as She pushed with Her final effort. The cries of a baby rang in His ears as delight. He smiled wide as he held His child. She had her head tilted pack on the ground in exhaustion. He brought the baby to her and she raised her face to meet the baby’s eyes. He then placed the child in Her arms. She then said softly, “Hello my dear son, Cain”

*******

“Did you answer the same to him as you did to me?

“Yes, I did.”

“I understand then.”

“You are bitter.”

“I am.”

“Do not follow his ways.”

“Perhaps He was right.”

“No, he could not be more wrong.”

“Did he not prove You wrong? Did they not break your law? Did they not turn away from you, rebel against you? They did! Will they not only continue now? As you said, this evil will linger in them! They will destroy, murder, rape! They will—”

“And I will die for them.”

“……….he was right. Lucifer was right.”

“Do you truly believe so?”

“I heard your answers and now I know so.”

“Then…you must leave.”

“Do not bother yourself with banishing me, I will leave willingly.”

And as the Angel turned His back to The Lord and walked away,“...Know that I will always love you as well.”

Cover Image Credit: Huffington Post

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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You Ain’t Waiting For God To Bring You Your Dinner, You Get Up And Go Cook It

My words often get jumbled and don't make sense, so I figured writing it would help me come across clearly.

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Dear guy friends of mine,

I want you to know how grateful I am for your friendship. Having close guy friends has helped me better understand men and learn how the male species operates. I've been able to ask you so many questions and you've responded with thoughtfulness, kindness, grace, and honesty. I appreciate your willingness to talk to me.

I want to encourage you in something, and with some of you I have tried, but I think I came across as a little crazy. From what I've been told by married women, guys are very afraid of actual crazy. You want your girl to have some crazy (because all women have at least a little bit of crazy), but you don't want her to be, like, crazy. I get that and respect that.

I want to encourage you to ask girls out. It's scary. You're afraid of rejection. I know this because several of you have told me so. I recently spoke with a guy who's been married for a few years and has a baby daughter. He told me that you guys are scared, you don't want to put your heart on the line and have it crushed. That's a good reason not to pursue girls: you'll remain safe and free from hurt if you don't put your feelings out there.

But here's the other side of it: You'll never find that girl if you never search for her. Now, I know that all things happen in God's timing and as imperfect humans, we can't force things to happen outside of God's timeline. However, Pastor Matt Chandler of The Village Church in Dallas, Texas said this in a sermon several years ago:

"But something's happened in evangelical circles where if you're single you're supposed to not want to be married, but be content in a spot and that's somehow more glorifying than following God's wiring of you to want a mate. And so in the end what happens is that you walk around like a liar. I mean, poor young ladies! Almost all of them have been told, "As soon as you're content, God will send you a man." So you've got hundreds of thousands of women running around acting content! "I'm content, where is he?" You've got other guys going, "You know, I'm just gonna wait for God to bring me the right one." Well, you ain't waiting for God to bring you your dinner, alright? You get up and go cook it."

Pastor Chandler goes on to say that he's not telling the guys to go on the hunt and prowl. No! He's telling guys that they have a role to play in pursuing a woman to marry. Girls have a role to play, too. Girls can't just hang out with their girlfriends in hopes that they'll lock eyes with Prince Charming while in the grocery store or walking their dog in the park. No, girls need to build up the guys in their lives and respect them by letting the guys be guys and giving them opportunities to be gentlemen. That's what I appreciate about you guys, my guy friends. You are such gentlemen and I love that. Don't be afraid to ask out the girl that you think is sweet, cute, pretty, funny, kind, silly, honest, loyal, and the right amount of crazy. You've got this!

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