“I wish I looked like her.”

“I wish I had her body.”

“I wish I was thinner.”

“I wish I could eat as much as you and still be skinny.”

Comparisons are the foundation to the socially accepted definition of beauty.

For some reason, this generation has been brainwashed with the idea that beauty is this one form. This one look that everyone should have to be truly “beautiful.” Tall, but not too tall. Skinny but not too skinny. But why is it that society is pushing us in a direction where we all look the same. Why are we all trying to look the same? We spend so much time focusing on what other people look like and what other people are doing with their lives that we forget about what we stand for. But if everyone looked the same then what would be beautiful?

Beauty doesn’t lay in perfection, but the appreciation of imperfections.

There comes a time when people just have to realize that not everyone is born with the same thinly framed body shape, not everyone has straight teeth or dimples when they smile. Not everyone is born with the perfect shade of hair and bright eyes. There should be an appreciation for everyone’s differences. Maybe your friend may get hit on a little more but you were made the way you were for a reason. You were born into this world with a purpose. And I promise you that you are beautiful. Beauty lies in your heart not in your appearance.

At the end of the day do you want to be remembered for being the hottest girl in school, or do you want to be remembered for leaving the biggest impact on the people around you? Do you want to be remembered for being the sweetheart of X fraternity, or do you want to be remembered for the relationships that you gained out of your experiences?

This generation has come to focus beauty on this surface level scale and we forget reasons that make people actually beautiful. Beauty doesn’t come from fake eyelashes or spray tans. This isn’t an accurate representation of yourself. This isn’t who you are. Beauty is your endless selflessness with helping others. Beauty is the contagious smile you give that turns someone’s bad day into a good one. Don’t get thrown off by what people want you to look like. Don’t eat a salad and skip the cake because you feel like you have to. Do it because you want to.

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”

-Paulo Coelho from The Alchemist

One of my friends once expressed to me “I don’t know how you stay so positive, if I went to FSU my self-esteem would be literal garbage. When I walked around that campus I felt like I needed to lose 20 pounds.”

But then I responded telling her how superficial it is. How superficial the number on the scale is, the number of calories you eat in a day, the number of Instagram followers or likes you have. At the end of the day these things don’t land you a job or long term happiness. They don’t show how you’ve impacted the world. They don’t show your beautiful heart hiding behind those numbers.

I responded by asking my friend: “What would I remember more? Those walks with patients at the hospital or that one good Instagram picture? At the end of the day it’s all about what you want to be remembered for.”

So the next time you judge a girl or yourself for that matter, be a little less critical. And I’m sure a major reason of your critical analysis of others lies within your own self esteem issues. So rather than working out at the gym to try and look good for other people, do it for yourself. Do it because you want to. And if you want to eat that piece of cake, then hell, eat that piece of cake.

Beauty shouldn’t be defined by lines; it should be borderless.