In this review, I'm going to add some more personal aspects of my life and my mental health. I hope it can benefit someone with knowing you're not alone.
"If suffering is inevitable, if our problems in life are unavoidable, then the question we should be asking is not "How do I stop suffering?" but "Why am I suffering- for what purpose?" (pg. 69)
This book takes an interesting approach in changing the way you think about life and your own problems. There is not a single person on Earth that will go through life without issues, and what I got the most out of this book is HOW you deal with those issues IS what makes you prosper or fall deep into a hole.
This book talks about the Feedback Loop from Hell, which freaking sucks. Example-- you worry about something, then panic, panic more because you are worrying, panic more because you can't change it, panic more because you're panicking, etc. I have done this a million times but with me it's anxiety.
Anxiety can strip your life down to nothing and I'm not talking about getting anxious about a big test or competition, but anxiety disorder where every day of your life is a constant panic or worrisome day for NO reason. I've struggled for years with anxiety and its great friend, panic attacks.
I had the worse panic attack in my life Summer of 2019 and one simple attack spiraled my life down in the span of a week. It was triggered by one thing but spread like a virus to all simple aspects of my day like driving, going to the mall, even going to work became impossible. I was terrified of all things that could get my heart racing because I feared I was having a heart attack or I could develop asthma and suffocate myself.
A tingle takes over my body, goosebumps grow on my skin and my heart beats like a wild animal starving to get out of its cage. I lose my breath, start praying but not a single thing in the whole world could calm my body or my thoughts.
You get into this state of panic. Like you're in a war zone, never knowing when a trigger will be pulled by the enemy. But on the front lines, the enemy is you and it looks like you, sounds like you, but the thoughts and words aren't yours.
What I loved about this book is it taught me the art of not giving a fuck. That doesn't mean become an asshole and only care about yourself, but rather choosing what to give a fuck about. It has a great line, "The point isn't to get away from the shit. The point is to find the shit you enjoy dealing with," (pg. 17). Mark Manson, the author, has a conversational tone and comes at the readers frequently pointing blame, which some seem to not like but I think it is needed for this kind of topic. The book brings up good points like how social media and the technological advances of our time gives us access to millions of information. Through all that information we can find millions of reasons we don't measure up. People only post the good things; you scroll down Instagram and see people having a grand time and no shit we all feel like we're not enough. 24/7, each day, we have constant reminders and comparisons that we feel we have to live up to.
Mark talks about values and this is a section I loved-- what do you value, and how can you change those values to help with your view on yourself? For instance, if you want to be a singer, you might start a YouTube channel. Let's say a video of yours gets 1,000 views and you are beyond happy and proud of yourself. Well you can also go about the way of thinking "well I didn't get 1 million views so I suck and I'm horrible," and that's the unhealthy option.
This art of choosing what to care about, choosing what you're going to do and ultimately accepting that you can change your life and YOU'RE in control, helps me when I feel myself going into a deep loop of anxiety or panic.
The only thing I didn't like about this book is sometimes it is repetitive and caused me to skim through a paragraph or two, but it's fucking hilarious and I related to it in so many ways. Hell, I realized there's constantly ways to improve yourself and make life better for you.
