That's right, I said it. Those boneless wings you ordered at Sonic last week? Chicken nuggets. Plump, deep fried chicken breast, coated in sauce and self-hatred. Delicious, satisfying, convenient, yes. But chicken wings? Not even in your wildest dreams.

What if I were to tell you there is no such thing as a boneless chicken wing?

Across our nation, restaurants and supermarkets alike are advertising oversized chicken nuggets, typically covered in sauce, as “boneless chicken wings” at an inflated price for their own capitalistic benefit and to spread lies.

Our classic, beloved bone-in chicken wing grew in popularity during the 1960's, but this "boneless" phenomenon-need I say, lie- has taken America by storm in just the past 15 years. But why?

First, let's get into what constitutes a chicken nugget; typically, these are chunks of chicken breast or chicken tender meat battered and deep fried in fat. Pair it with french fries and a soda, and you're living the industrialized American Dream™.

Now, picture the perfect boneless wing: white meat chicken, batter, boiling hot oil, and sauce. Take away the sauce, and you are left with a chicken nugget. I'll that settle for a second.

But, wait, they are not the same! Boneless wings are bigger! Right?

Wrong. Boneless wings do, in fact, tend to be larger than your average chicken nugget, but think back to what they are both made out of. If we are following the same train of thought, that leads us to the conclusion that "boneless chicken wings" are really just thicker cuts of the same meat- or, put simply, big chicken nuggets, with sauce for a touch of flair.

Come on, you're overthinking it! They are only more expensive because there's more meat! You said it yourself!

Again, that would be incorrect-well intentioned, but simply wrong; and frankly, it's this attitude that is proving so detrimental to American progress. Take a look at Sonic's menu; an order of 6 boneless wings costs $4.49, while a medium popcorn chicken, providing the same amount of chicken, is only $3.99. Suspicious? I think so too.

I am not here to shatter your entire fried-chicken-loving lives. Whether or not companies are promoting these false advertisements because it is more financially feasible- one chicken breast provides many more "wings" than one actual wing- or because they are driven by malicious intentions, feeding off of American passivity just for fun (If they fall for this, what else will they fall for?) and thriving from our failure is for you to decide.

However, there is hope. If you are like me, along with most other meat-eating Americans, you enjoy a nice flavorful sauce with your chicken, so the boneless option makes sense. But now, open your mind to another possibility: think of your favorite sauce- homemade, a fast food variety, supermarket jar, whatever makes you happiest. Next, order or prepare your favorite chicken nuggets- then, pour the previously selected sauce over your hot, fresh nuggets. Finally, take the first bite of your beautiful creation and revel in the fact that you have saved money and are one step closer to fulfilling your search for truth.

Next time you are faced with the craving for fried chicken, take a moment to think before you order. Notice the influence advertisements have on your decisions. Shake up the course of consumer thinking.

Change the world, one bite at a time.