Mid-February, you call to me
I think about you all year:
Your gentle touch, and the way
It freezes my very core.
I embrace you fully,
Knowing that every moment I spend
Locked in your embrace,
I inch ever closer to losing myself.
But hey, why else would I be so far north
At this time of year?
Another year has come and gone without
Your mystical cold,
Your mystery,
Your peace.
But here we are again,
Becoming one,
As I spend the most romantic holiday
Holding your hand.
Soon you will leave me,
But this time I won’t wait for you.
This time I’ll find a new love.
If you don’t swallow me whole today.
You hear my promise,
You feel my scream,
And you lash out ever harder,
Pelting my face with your icy hands.
Once tiny and delicate,
Now balled into fists,
Threatening to concuss me.
I catch them and kiss them.
I reassure you that I’m not going anywhere.
I’ve traveled so far to you.
I’ve been so numb for so long,
So alone,
So desperate,
That even Your bitter cold is a welcome embrace.
But, time passes.
The romantic day fades away.
And you, too, disappear.
Another year, I’ve failed to be right for you.
This time, I realize it was you who was not enough.
So I return home and I wait.
Mid-August, you call to me.
I think about you all year:
Your aggressive touch
And the way it chills my very core.
I isolate myself, I lay myself bare
In front of you.
I let you swallow me.
I lose myself in you.
But hey, why else would I be this far south,
At this time of year?
My last lover and her northern downpour could
Not be what I needed. So here I am,
In an exotic land,
With you. Colder than she ever was.
And you, dear August down south.
You give me what I crave.
You take hold of me and don’t let go.
You chill me so harshly I feel warm again.
I am not afraid to be naked in front of you,
Physically or emotionally.
I tell you all the pain she left me and you
With your calloused hands,
You with your 5 o’clock shadows
You with your gruff voice
You comfort me.
You take me.
You make me yours.
I cannot move. I cannot breathe. I do not care.
I suffocate in you.
Some lone explorer may find me
In an eon or two
Buried in your Antarctic ice.
Frozen solid.
With a smile on my face bigger than the sun.
