They always warn you not to make bad decisions with alcohol. From D.A.R.E. to the mandatory alcohol workshop in college, we were all told to limit our drinks. Well, we all had to find our own limits, and some of us not in the most ideal way. Some of us got to personally witness the hard truth to “alcohol removes your inhibitions."
I messaged people who I knew liked to drink and asked for their most embarrassing blackout drunk story, and these are the responses I received. Enjoy.
1. The peeing blackout
"The first time, I sobbed for hours about how dogs don't have homes even though they're so full of love and how I want to love all of the dogs. The second time was wine night with a frat. I literally told everyone how amazing they were and then I pissed myself. The most recent was after a game of shot pool, I fell asleep on a dining room floor using a T-Rex inflatable inner tube as a blanket. I finally got up to go to bed and ended up peeing myself in the guy I was sleeping with's bed. He was really sweet about it though, I woke up and I looked at him and said 'it's a very real possibility that I pissed myself.'"
You seem quite loving when you are drunk. If I'm ever lacking confidence, I know that drunk you is a good resource.
2. The irresponsible blackout
"I was out celebrating my new job at happy hour with my friends. It was a great time, except for the fact that I blacked out twice that night! I don't remember leaving the bar, but apparently, some of my friends saw my nipple #nipslip and helped me out. Then I took a power nap and got ready for a Fifth and A Friend event with my boyfriend, and I sang along to karaoke, dropped a wineglass and was in complete denial about it happening. I lost my credit card, ID, and cash. I don't remember taking my makeup off or going to sleep, but I woke up at 5 a.m. thinking it was 2 a.m. and brushed my teeth for sleep. I got my cards back but then I ended up puking in a food restaurant's bathroom waiting to order food. What a night. A lot of what I know from that night is based on what people told me."
Jeez, a lot went wrong here. This was a rollercoaster of mistakes.
3. The sleepwalking blackout
"So this one time I got super drunk but I went to bed at the frat BEFORE I blacked. I thought it was a normal night of drinking. Over the course of the next day, I heard from my friends that I had gotten up to piss in the middle of the night, but gone into my neighbor's room, took off my pants, and tried to piss in his trashcan. Then I spent over an hour throwing up in the shower before they took me to bed. So I sleep walk when I'm blacked out. That's pretty embarrassing."
What's with everyone peeing themselves??
4. The romantic blackout
"At a New Year's party, I drank so much I went skinny dipping and then immediately cried to my girlfriend over the phone, one month into dating her, confessing my love and sorrow."
At least she knows you're loyal when you're drunk.
5. The genius, puking blackout
"I don't really do a lot of embarrassing things, but there's one time I got so blacked my roommate took me home and I was peeing so I was sitting on the toilet. I told her I had to throw up. I had the genius idea of puking in between my legs while peeing and she had to stop me. She said, 'Get up and puke! Not in your legs!' So that was gross. Another thing is, I got kicked out of a frat party and my friends had to take me home. I went to the bathroom and fell asleep on the toilet, so my friend had to crawl under the stall to unlock the door and wake me up. It was wild."
Don't we all have the most genius ideas when alcohol is involved?
6. The blackout who can't feel anything
"Ok, so I went to Lion for a bar battle. So I'm sitting at the bar and my head is on my arms and I'm leaning on the bar. Some bartender said, 'he needs to go' so one of my frat bros said 'alright, I'll walk him back to the house.' As he was walking me out of Lion, I fall straight back onto a group of random girls and my bro grabs me and pulls me off of them and out of Lion. However, I had lost one of my Sperry's at Lion, so I literally walked back to the house in the snow, with no shoe on my foot. I then proceeded to roam the lounges and I found my roommate Ricky at the house. We were both blacked out and got into a serious, intense argument about who bought the Nutella in our dorm room. Somebody recorded it and posted it on our frat Facebook, so, yeah, ever since then, I've been made fun of for that night."
Did you get frostbite? Did you get your shoe back? Who bought the Nutella??
7. The kicked-out-of-Lion blackout
"I had to throw up really bad so I went into the guy's bathroom at Lion because the women's bathroom line was too long. Two guys were helping me out and then the security busted the door open. I was there on my knees with two guys in the stall so it looked really bad when people saw me. Security took me out of Lion and apparently I was crying for my friends and threw up all over myself and peed on myself but I don't remember that."
A series of unfortunate events. And yet another one who wet themselves...
9. The projectile vomiting blackout
"I pre-gamed a party and showed up already drunk. I realized I had to puke, so I knocked on the bathroom door. They said they were busy, but I couldn't wait any longer so I began violently banging on the door until someone would let me in. It was just a bunch of puking girls, so I started puking with them. We were all puking into the bathtub together. My friend joined and started puking because "everyone else was puking" but I believe she's lying and really drank too much too. The cops showed up so some guy picked me up and carried me to the designated driver. I said I needed air so apparently, I rolled the window down, stuck my head out the window and my face just looked like a dead person. The guy carried me to my dorm, which I have no idea how because you need to show your ID to get in. I projectile vomited on my friend's couch...it just went straight up and landed back down on me. Apparently, I just said 'oh no' and acted as nothing had happened. I woke up the next morning to my dad's phone call asking if I was ready for game day. I was so hungover...but drank again the next day with my dad."
Dad does not need to know what happened last night. Also, how do you PROJECTILE vomit??
9. The blackout who wasn't told of anything
"I pre-gamed with vodka. My friend handed me a water bottle, and I took several pulls. He said he didn't expect me to do that...turns out it was Everclear. I blacked out and don't remember anything."
10. The secret puker blackout
"I had to puke at a frat and knew I wouldn't make it upstairs to the bathroom, but I also didn't want to make a scene, so I made sure no one was looking and just threw up behind the couch. I had a few throw ups, so each time I would check to make sure no one was looking. My friend ended up seeing the last throw up, and asked 'did you just throw up?' Apparently, I said 'I had no choice.' I didn't want anyone to know it was me so I started partying away from the puke."
Nothing's gonna stop you from partying, huh? Not even puking several times behind a couch?
How entertaining. Y'all are wild. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing these stories and I hope you enjoyed them too.
Folks, do not try this at home and remember, kids, count your drinks!