Because who doesn't want Mindy Lahiri as a best friend??

On social graces

"I don’t want to go to your stupid party. But you know what? I should have been invited"

On mentors

"It is so weird being my own role model"

On worldliness

"I’m sorry, are you saying that I’m not cultured? I’m deeply cultured. I’ve been to London."

On relationships

"Danny, if we’re still single in 5 years and we haven’t found anybody can we make a pact? That we will kill each other."

"If you’re a serial killer I’m not interested. If you’re a serial killer who only murders other serial killers I’m very interested."

"I want you to love me in the way that I can show on Instagram."

On self-inspiration

"You’re not Mindy, you’re a warrior and your warrior name is Beyonce Pad Thai."

On finances

"Did you know that when I die, in my will I leave all of my money to Tina Fey? I don’t even know her! I just think she would spend it in interesting and responsible ways."

On friendship

"A best friend isn’t a person. It’s a tier."

"I hate when people say girl crush. No one’s gonna think you’re a lesbian if you just say crush."

On health

"Let’s see. What should I order? I’m basically a vegetarian. For moral reasons. I mean I eat eggs and fish and hamburgers. Never steak."

"I'd be a drug addict if cocaine was as delicious as sugar."

On obeying the law

"You're telling me you all pay your taxes?"