I grew up in a mixed-race household. My mother is Mexican-American, and my father is African-American. I am biracial, and despite this, I often don't feel like I'm "enough" of either of my ethnicities. When people approach me or first meet me, they either assume that I'm white or just Mexican. I am never read as black. My skin tone is fair, and that's all people seem to see me as. Some would say that my fair skin is a blessing, but that is not how I see it. When I tell people that I am black, they don't believe me. I have to show them a picture of me and my father to prove it. (There is no denying it from that point on because we look alike.)
Growing up, it wasn't a big thing for me. I lived my life, and that was it. High school was when it really started to kick in, and college even more. In college, I have been given more opportunities to make my voice be heard. I am a strong advocate for Black Lives Matter. The problem here is though, that people often get confused when they see me discussing black issues.
In conversations like these, I constantly feel like I have to prove myself as black because I live in a country where people see your skin color before anything else. I am a mix, and I don't feel like I fit in.
People often assume that because I don't have the dark skin that so many of my family members are graced with, that I don't face the struggles that they do. Because I look ambiguous in my race, that puts a target on my forehead. I shouldn't have to fear the police, but I do. I shouldn't have to prove my race, but I do. You wouldn't walk up to a white person and ask them if they are really white, so why would you ask me if I'm really black? I do not feel like I fit in with black people or Mexican people. People belittle my struggles because I don't look like the rest of my family.
I want to be able to advocate, and not have people question my ethnicity. This is not a me problem, this is a society problem. Stop making me feel bad because I cannot control the shade of my skin. Stop questioning me. Stop belittling me. I am no less of an African American because of my light skin tone. But you make me feel that way.
