Hey pal! How's the new cruiser treating you? What, you're stuck in 5th gear? Sorry buddy, I meant to take my bike to the shop and have them take a look, but now I don't have to. Have fun with that feeling that you're constantly riding uphill. Provides for a true workout.
I hope the process of stealing the bike provided enough of a challenge for you. That was what you were going for, right? After all, my bike, or should I say your bike, was locked up in front of a university building, under a constant nightly spotlight, in front of a main road, with a camera pointing at the general area. And I think you can guess what that camera caught. Out of all the bikes you could have gone for on the rack, you went for mine. I am truly honored you singled out my $100 walmart bike over the other bikes on the rack.
If you would like a little less of a challenge next time next time you're out thieving for bikes, I know a few places you could try. I really got to know the ins and outs of all the bike racks in the University of Delaware and its surrounding area as I rode around with my roommate for the better part of 3 hours trying to locate my dear friend. We even found some bikes that weren't locked up at all.
Now, you may be wondering why I'd spend so much time searching for my bike. Well, funny enough, the day after my bike was stolen, you decided to take it for a little joy ride. That's right, I saw you riding around on my bike a block from where you stole it. I hope that you are finding the seat of my women's mountain bike to be ever so comfy, mister bike thief.
Lastly, I hope you need this bike more than I do, and that being a bike thief isn't your full time job, because frankly you're not very good at it. I'd like to think that you are a good person who did a desperate thing. Which is why my ever so generous self is willing to offer you a deal. Just leave it locked up outside any university building, no hard feelings!
Well maybe a few.
Sincerely,
The girl who just wants her bike back
