It's 2019 And I Still Can't Answer These 12 Questions

It's 2019 And I Still Can't Answer These 12 Questions

It's 2019, but I still don't understand what happened to Vine?

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High key, I've always thought about these things in the back of my mind. Why are there so many questions and conspiracy theories...and which ones are true and which are a flat out lie? Why is it so hard to tell a lie from the truth?

1. Why do we pretend Açai bowls fill us up?

YOU ARE A BIG FAT LIAR IF... you eat açai bowls like they are a full meal, AND you pretend that it's filling! I love açai bowls, but I know for a fact, they are not filling. Obviously, I want to be skinny so I eat one after yoga and basically am hungry until dinner. But why do we pretend like it's a whole meal? WHY?

2. Was Mariah Carey really talking about Eminem in her "Obsessed" music video?

We've all seen the video, we all know the beef that took place in the late 2000s... but was she talking sh*t about Eminem? Was he really obsessed with her? Did they hook up?

3. Why did Marylin Monroe and JFK die a year apart?

I have a theory...I have a gut feeling that Jackie K, was sick and tired of JFK's cheating ass and decided to kill both Marilyn M and her husband. Marylin was easier because suicide is easier to frame. No offense, but Marilyn had gone through a lot for her to give up that quickly, I mean The Heathers is a prime example. Why else would Oswald be killed?

4. Why do we see that dress in different colors?

I was at Shenica's house after track practice, when she asked me, "what color do you see?" Blue and black. She saw white and gold, and we both freaked out. We stared at it at the same time, and then looked at each other. What the FFFFFFFFF?! We've come up with theories of why we see different colors, but the bottom line is that we don't know how color vision works.

5. Is the illuminati real?

What is the Illuminati? Is it a secret society? It's basically people claiming they are special, which to be fair is kind of true. I do believe there are certain people that are more special than others and probably posses some sort of mental capability over others, like Ted Bundy.

6. Why is Kim K super wealthy off her promiscuity?

Okay, we get it, her father was O.J. Simpson's representative...but how exactly did she get so famous? At this point, I think most of us have seen her video...and if you haven't then what have you been doing? So she became super famous off this video, that kept popping up even though when she would delete it. But like how did she blow up? Was it her fake butt? The T.V. show? I mean good for her, because not everyone that makes a porno becomes wealthy!

7. Why was Vine shutdown?

Word on the street says, that common people were becoming way too famous way too quickly, so they shut it down! Is this true... because if it is that is literally the 1% feeling attacked and defending their territory so no one else becomes part of the 1%.

8. Why are Disney Chanel TV series not on Netflix?

I want to be able to drink some wine while watching my favorite childhood shows. Now that I am wiser, I realize the amount of innuendos from my childhood shows. Have you rewatched Shrek? Seriously Netflix, step it up! You should probably have these:

"Lizzie McGuire"

"Phil of the Future"

"Suite Life of Zach and Cody"

"That's so Raven"

"Hannah Montana"

"Sonny with a Chance"

9. How did people get around before Uber or Lyft?

I think about this all the time! I understand that cabs were the way people used to get around, but what about when you accidentally bought too many groceries and order an uber, what did people do back then? What about a rainy day, did people get wet and take the train? What if you felt too tired to take public transportation? PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME!

10. Are GMOs even bad for us?

Not to be one of those people but... I took a Bio class last quarter and supporting evidence were in favor of GMOs. Specially for poor countries, which would benefit greatly from GMOs. Why would we not want to help farmer's in Africa feed their population? We all know that there are a lot of people suffereing from malnutrition, so why would we not allow them to better themselves? Are we advertising GMOs as bad to keep the poor, poor?

11. Are Juuls actually going to disappear?

SERIOUS QUESTION?! Not to be a fien, but juuling during midterms and finals help my anxiety.

12. Why is Instagram becoming a business market?

You can now advertise yourself.. LOL. You can actually buy your followers now. What's the whole point of Insta now, if you can no longer get the thrill of meeting randoms and taking pictures, if you are too worried about how many likes you will get.

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One Of The Most Impressive Things A Human Being Can Do Is Finish An Entire Tube Of ChapStick

It is the only thing more impressive than the creation of ChapStick itself.

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Mankind's most impressive accomplishments include inventing the wheel, walking on the moon, and, of course, the creation of ChapStick. The air outside is beginning to get dry, and thus, chapped lips are coming, and once chapped lips season begins, millions of poor souls will begin to suffer from the tragedy that is chapped lips. Luckily, we have ChapStick, and Burt's Bees, Carmex, Blistex, and plenty of other lip balm brands as well.

There is nothing worse than feeling your lips begin to dry up, signaling that chapped lips are in your not too distant future. Actually, there are probably many things in life that are worse than this, but it's still pretty bad.

ChapStick is a savior for the chapped, a larger than life hero conveniently available in a small tube at most local stores. Thank goodness for ChapStick (and other brands of lip balm, I guess.) I truly believe that the invention of ChapStick is one of the most important, groundbreaking, and impressive feats that mankind has accomplished.

However, the only thing more important, groundbreaking, and impressive than the creation of ChapStick, is someone finishing an entire tube of it.

I'm not sure if it's even possible to do this, and I'm starting to think that it might not be. Before it can be done, the vast majority of people will either lose the tube, or no longer need it because their lips are no longer chapped. Then, by the time their lips become chapped once more, the tube will then be lost, never to be seen again.

It is a vicious cycle, one that prevents us all from ever finishing our ChapSticks, and probably also helps lip balm companies sell more products.

If anyone has actually used up an entire tube of it from beginning to end, I wonder what life is like for them now. Did they stumble upon some sort of hidden code allowing them to understand the true nature of life and the universe? Did they open a gateway to another dimension with different laws that govern time and space? I think there is a very good chance that one of these events occurs when one finishes an entire ChapStick tube.

It has to signal some sort of mind-bending event releasing the most well-kept secrets of the universe. Nothing else really makes any sense.

If you have finished an entire ChapStick tube, you have my deepest and utmost respect. You have shown the ultimate form of perseverance, prevailing despite the odds of the universe being completely against you. You have shown that you know how to follow through with something, no matter what. You can now live the rest of your life knowing that you have accomplished what most never will.

Be proud of yourself, and make sure to tell everyone you possibly can that you have finished an entire tube of ChapStick. Make sure it's the first thing you say when you meet someone new, tell random people in the street who you have never even met, and put it at the top of your resume when you apply for a job, because they will be sure to hire you on the spot once they learn of your wonderfully impressive feat.

As of now, my lips are beginning to feel chapped, and I have just applied ChapStick to them as a means of combating this dreadful ailment. As I stare at the tube in my hand, my determination to use the entire thing has greatly amplified, and I am more determined than ever to finish the thing and unlock the secrets of the universe. But, who am I kidding? I'll probably lose it before the tube is even halfway gone.

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Celebrating My Mom: Her Beauty and Strength

Here's to the most inspirational woman in my life.

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In observance of International Women's Day on March 8th, it is of paramount importance that we take a few moments to consciously recognize the women in our lives. We often call the women we adore by casual names like "Mom", "my sister", or "my girlfriend", and, usually, these nouns are intimate enough to replace their names---but not today. Today is for appreciating you, Melanie Daugherty, my mom---not as my mother, but as a human whom I hold with the highest regards.

It is easy for me to recall the innumerable times you've embraced me (even though I considered myself to be a disappointment), forced me to put my qualms into perspective, or insisted I put my aspirations into action (because "can't is too lazy to try") ; but, the magnitude of your accomplishments shouldn't always be measured by its impact on me, however, if it were to be, let it be the times you've inspired me.

Mom, I have always appreciated you, but I truly began to define you as my idol during my sophomore year of high school. During this time, I began experiencing shame in my identity. I was an athletic girl, but suffered from body dysmorphia, as well as a misunderstood and pessimistic perception of my inner thoughts. I became very introspective and was completely fixated on thoughts of worthlessness and lack of purpose. I assumed chronic fatigue was just a characteristic of being a teenager. In me, you recognized a past version of who you once were. I cried to you and you embraced me in your arms. My deteriorating state of mental health was not your burden, and you refused to let me define myself by diagnoses and prescriptions. Recognizing your success and triumph over anorexia and depression motivated me. I was so proud to be your daughter. Knowing that confidence and appreciation for the world was possible to achieve accelerated me into a period of self-reflection and determination. I wanted to trace your template of self-improvement with my footsteps and create a new image of myself---one that would reignite my childhood "spark".

You're not just my hero for saving me, but for giving me someone to admire. You live your life without limitations. Competing in the 140.6 mile Ironman triathlon is an accomplishment in itself, competing in the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii is even more incredible, and completing eight of these triathlons is enough for most people to call you "crazy" rather than by your name. Your greatest demonstration of strength however, was not through athletic prowess, but through mental and emotional perseverance.

Losing your best friend to breast cancer was almost inconceivable because no one ever wants to acknowledge it as a possibility. What people also try to forget, is that it is just as possible for their lives to be taken from them. After learning to cope with your best friend's death, you were diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. Watching you grow progressively weaker was enervating in itself. This wasn't a reality I was able to accept as truth, partially because you were my mom, but also because your strength was an aspect of you that I didn't think could ever be taken from you---and I was right.

Although your complexion grew pallid and your body could no longer sustain itself, your mindset remained the same. You would not accept a last breath, and you ensured that every breath you took reiterated that. You demonstrated to me that positivity is the panacea that combats a discouraged mind.

Mom, for you, I am proud. I am grateful to have lost sometimes, because without loss, I wouldn't have been able to realize my strength, and I wouldn't have realized that if you hadn't been my anchor.

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