If Big 10 Teams Were Best Picture Oscar Nominees
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If Big 10 Teams Were Best Picture Oscar Nominees

Which Oscar movie is your team like the most?

If Big 10 Teams Were Best Picture Oscar Nominees

The 88th Academy Awards are on Sunday, February 28. I stopped caring about the validity of the Oscars long ago. I only watch it now so I can tweet about how awful it is. But I wanted to take a detour from my usually cantankerous attitude towards the Oscars and do something productive: Compare each of the nominees to a Big 10 football program!

The criteria I've decided to use is simple: The scope and talent involved in a movie and how a team did in the 2015 season. Now onto the comparisons!

"The Revenant" = Ohio State

College football coaches are known for molding a roster into the exact image they want. Urban Meyer is arguably the best at this; he is as meticulous during recruiting and game day as director Alejandro González Iñárritu is behind the camera. Iñárritu has garnered the respect among his peers the way Urban Meyer has. They excel at getting the best out of A-level talent, the supporting actors, and their assistants. As the biggest, most resourceful film of the nominees, "The Revenant" is the favorite to win Best Picture. Anything less will be a disappointment.

"The Big Short" = Michigan

Whether he's bringing Ric Flair to this month's National Signing Day event, professing his love for Judge Judy, or moving the upcoming spring game to the evening, Jim Harbaugh is trying to reinvigorate the Michigan program. Director Adam McKay pulls similar stunts throughout "The Big Short," whether it's Ryan Gosling breaking the fourth-wall or having celebrity cameos inserted in order to explain complex financial terms. As amusing as these bits are, "The Big Short" is most concerned with something Michigan fans have been familiar with the past decade: Human despair.

"Spotlight" = Michigan State

Of the three main Best Picture contenders, "Spotlight" is the smallest and least talked about. However, it has won many critics awards and has a story that sticks with audiences. Winning Best Picture may seem impossible right now for "Spotlight," but so was Michigan State blocking a punt to beat Michigan and knocking off Ohio State in Columbus.

"The Martian" = Iowa

"How do we rescue Matt Damon from Mars?" is as pressing a question as "How did Iowa start 12–0 and go to the Rose Bowl?" Like the 2015 Iowa football team, "The Martian" was optimistic, crowd-pleasing, and a comeback the man behind the operations (in the case of "The Martian," Ridley Scott; for Iowa, head coach Kirk Ferentz). Although they both never reached greatness, settling for "really good" is not bad either.

"Bridge of Spies" = Nebraska

Nebraska hasn't been a national title contender since the late 1990s. "Bridge of Spies" looks like a movie that would've won Best Picture in 1998. A Tom Hanks-Steven Spielberg movie should've gotten more buzz than what "Bridge of Spies" did. It just goes to show where the movie industry is in 2016. Nebraska is a good enough program to win 8–10 games annually, but the changing landscape of college football has dropped them from the national title conversation.

"Mad Max: Fury Road" = Indiana

Indiana went 6–7 last year, which on its face is mediocre. Yet it doesn't reveal the true madness of its season. Just look at these box scores. Indiana was one of the 10 or 15 most fun-to-watch teams in college football last year.

"Mad Max: Fury Road" is a better movie than Indiana is a football team, but it's the closest comparison to capturing the emotions of the 2015 Indiana Hoosiers. Whether you watched on your TV, laptop, tablet, or phone, both "Fury Road" and Indiana had a crazy amount of "WTF?!" moments. Whenever Indiana was on, I knew it was going to be a lovely day.

"Room" = Northwestern

For any Northwestern students/alumni/fans reading this, I apologize for comparing your school to a movie where a mother and child are held captive. But hear me out on this. Brie Larson is likely to win Best Actress for this movie, garnering it the same amount of praise Northwestern got for beating eventual Rose Bowl champs, Stanford. However, just as "Room" will take away two hours of any sort of happiness, Northwestern robbed America from seeing Christian McCaffrey run through the College Football Playoff. Thanks, Northwestern!

"Brooklyn" = Rutgers

I don't know anything about "Brooklyn" besides its cast. I don't know anything about Rutgers other than former Ohio State assistant Chris Ash is their head coach. "Brooklyn" has the same odds of winning Best Picture that Rutgers does of winning the Big 10 next season

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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