All people tell me as of late is “you’re so much better than him.” “You’re so much better than them.” “I don’t even know him but, I know you’re better than him.” As if I'm supposed to seek some sort of comfort in that word. Better. But what does that even mean? Sure, I know from a moral standpoint, I’m better. I have more values, more respect, more hopes and aspirations and regard for my actions. But I don’t think that’s what they mean when they say “better.” When I hear it, I feel as though they’re trying to tell me I’m some kind of higher grade of human. Like as if growing up in an middle-upper middle class home, going to a university, and owning a matching Coach wallet and purse set makes me better. Or my favorite, when you meet someone for the first time in a bar, club, or some other loud social gathering and the topic of exes comes up; You mention something about your’s and a girl chimes in “Ugh, screw him. You’re so much better.” Really? You don’t even know me. You got that from five minutes of conversation and my appearance which from what you can tell probably says “yeah, she showers." What if my ex was Brad Pitt? (I know Brad Pitt is active in philanthropic campaigns and such, but let’s pretend that he wasn’t for the sake of the example). Would I still be “better”? Probably not. Because now my ex is successful and idolized whereas I’m just a college freshman who’s dependent on financial aid and caffeine to survive. 

But I don’t think that’s fair. Aren’t we all just God’s children? I know this a common method of consolation for people with a broken heart. Is it because feeling as though I’m ‘better’ will help me move on? Or another one. “You deserve better.” That one I can agree with, as long as they mean deserve to be treated better and not a better human being. But am I wrong? Can people be classified as “better” or “worse”? Maybe that’s a discussion for my philosophy class. And is my inability to fully understand the logic or comfort in the distinction between the two responsible for my poor choice in partners previously and my inability to let go afterwards? How often does someone end up with a person who is on the same scale of “better” as them? My guess is not often. Because love, at least in my experience, doesn’t look at someone and say “I’m better than you.” Maybe if it did it would save a lot of time and effort. 

And then there are the girls who don't need anyone telling them that they are better. They claim it, tweet it, brag about it. "Good luck finding someone better." "I'm so much better than his new b*tch." And chances are she's not talking about her community service hours or her life group at church. All she's using to compare are her looks. Which, to me, is just so...icky. I wonder where she got her humble mentality anyway...maybe it was from everyone telling her..that she's...better...However, I doubt she actually believes it to be true, or else she wouldn't feel the need to plant it in everyone's minds before they made their own conclusions about her. But that's another story.

I wonder how many times someone has said “you’re better than her” in reference to me. And are they right? My parents would say “no.” My best friend would say “no.” The drunk girl at the club I just met would say “hell nooo.” But what would the people in their life use against me to make the case that they, in fact, are the ones that are better. Oh, and don’t you just love those little pictures you come across while scrolling through your feed with an inspirational message like “You’re so much better than you think you are.” Thank you, JPEG, I’ll be sure to remind myself that you think so next time I’m feeling down. But what if I'm not. What if I'm just as better as I think I am? Not everyone can be better, because then we would have no one to contrast ourselves from or to feel superior to. Maybe we should all stop trying to figure out where we are on the better scale, who deserves what, and just be. Or maybe not. This is in no way a self-righteous, condemning article. These are just my thoughts.