If you don't understand these slang terms, then bless your heart!
To "piddle" means to waste time on something. My grandma used to always say "Quit piddlin' around, we're gonna be late for church!" You can piddle in anything. A child can piddle around in the mud; you can drive around for no real reason, just to "piddle."
2. "As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs."
This one is pretty self explanatory, but it is one of my favorites. I love using this one in front of non-southerners and watching them stare at me, blank faced, as they try to reason out what I said.
3. "Slicker n' owl poop"
To say something is "slicker than owl poop" (or you can use a different word if your momma didn't raise you right), can be applied to just about anything. If someone is dressed well or "slick" then one might say that he is "slicker n' owl poop." Or, for instance, if its icy, rainy, or otherwise slippery outside, the phrase can be used here also. Additionally, if someone weasels their way out of something, then that phrase can be applied.
4. "It all comes out in the wash."
When something "comes out in the wash," that means that it will be resolved or that it the issue is not very important. For example, two friends might be deciding who will pay for dinner, and one person pays for the whole thing. Their friend might say, "You didn't have to do that." The southerner might respond, "Don't worry about it, it all comes out in the wash."
5. "A month of Sundays."
To say something hasn't happened "in a month of Sundays" means that it hasn't happened in a long time. Two old friends might meet up in the grocery store, and one might say to the other, "How are you? I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays!"
6. "Madder than a wet hen."
Why is the hen mad about being wet? I honestly don't know where this saying comes from, but I remember hearing it all the time growing up. Very rarely do I get mad enough to be "madder than a wet hen," but it is a whole new level of anger. Give a southern person their space when they say this.
7. "Busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest."
This one is just comical. It's a personal favorite of mine, especially when I have had a particularly long day.
8. "Pitch a holy hissy fit."Giphy
If you're from the south, you know that you don't just throw a fit, you pitch one, and it isn't just a fit, it's a hissy fit. While doing some research on this particular southern-ism, I found that the rumor is that "hissy" is short for hysterical. I knew if I ever threw a hissy fit, my momma would tan my hide or "give me something to cry about." Southern mommas don't but up with screaming children.
Something that is cattywampus may be out of alignment, crooked, or something that has gone awry. If a strong gust of wind blows through your hair after you just left your beauty shop for your perm appointment, you might say that your messed up hair is "cattywampus" on your head.
10. "Going to hell in a hand basket."
For someone to say that something has "gone to hell in a hand basket," means that something has gone completely wrong. For example, if you are cheering on your home team and they lose by a staggering margin, you might say to your friend, "Well THAT went to hell in a hand basket!"
11. "Rode hard and put up wet."
To be "rode hard and put up wet," means that something or someone hasn't been taken good care of. This phrase originates from the act of putting away a horse after riding it without giving it a chance to cool down. So, if you see someone at your high school reunion that looks like the years have not been kind to them, you might say under your breath, "Wow, he looks like he was rode hard and put up wet."
12. "Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise."
This is usually a response after one makes plans or says goodbye to someone else.This particular saying means that as long as some unforeseen event doesn't come up, things will be fine. For instance, a person might say "Will you be at church on Sunday?" and the true southerner response would be, "Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise." People have speculated that this saying literally means that as long as the creek doesn't rise, we should be able to get there. Others believe that it is referencing the Creek Native Americans. Meaning as long as the Native Americans don't rise, our plans are still on.
13. "Bless your heart."
"Bless your heart," can be used in a variety of ways. Using it after someone tells you how they gambled away all their money might mean "Oh, you're such an idiot." However, if your kid has the flu, you might tell him, "Bless your heart!' In this case, it would mean that you are sympathetic. Context is everything.
14. "Sweating like a whore in church."
This phrase just means that you are sweating buckets. Imagine walking outside in the blistering summer heat where the heat index is 109; you might just say it too.
15. "Knee-high to a grasshopper."
Being "knee-high to a grasshopper," means that someone is small in stature. You'll hear this phrase at family get-togethers as, "Look at you all grown up! Last time I saw you, you were knee-high to a grasshopper!"
16. "As ugly as homemade sin."
"As ugly as homemade sin," is one phrase that cuts southerners deep. In the Bible belt, we view sin as ugly. Homemade anything is typically less attractive than mass produced items, so being uglier than homemade sin makes you as ugly as it gets. Ouch.
17. "Quit your bellyaching."
"Bellyaching," is a direct synonym for whining or complaining. So when a southern mom says "You had better quit your bellyaching," you know it is time to suck it up before you get a whoopin'.
18. "It doesn't amount to a hill of beans."
"A hill of beans," means that something is important. So, if something "doesn't amount to a hill of beans", then it doesn't amount to anything.
19. "There's more than one way to skin a cat."
As grisly as it might sound, no one in the south is actually going to skin a cat. "More than one way to skin a cat" means that there is more than one way to get to a solution.
"D'jeet," is a super condensed form of "did you eat?" The proper usage would be, "D'jeet before school?" Taking the time to say "did you eat," is so long, and when food is a staple in the south, three syllables is too much. If someone ever responds "no" to that question, it is then your obligation as a southerner to make sure they are well fed.