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Best One Liners From 'The Office'

An office is a place where dreams come true.

Meghan Brower

Nov 30, 2015

University of Delaware

69162

Word Press

Dunder Mifflin Paper Company was home to some of the best characters in television history, and even though the series has ended, we can still binge-watch our favorite episodes (thank you Netflix Gods). Known for their witty and dry humor, the writers of "The Office" have provided fans with quotable one-liners appropriate for all situations.

"Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me!" - Michael Scott

"If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about?" - Creed Bratton

"'You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take' - Wayne Gretzky." - Michael Scott

"Abraham Lincoln once said that, 'If you're a racist I will attack you with the North.'" - Michael Scott

"You all took a life here today. The life of the party." - Michael Scott

"Suddenly, she's not yo ho no mo'." - Michael Scott

"I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs." - Kevin Malone

"The Taliban is the worst… great heroin though." - Creed Bratton

"Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?!" - Michael Scott

"Where are the turtles?!" - Michael Scott

"If I don't have some cake soon, I might die." - Stanley Hudson

"Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame." - Michael Scott

"Who is Justice Beaver?" - Dwight Schrute

"I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael Scott

"There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague." - Dwight Schrute

"Dwight, you ignorant slut!" - Michael Scott

"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice." - Michael Scott

"The worst thing about prison was… the dementors!" - Michael Scott

"I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious." - Michael Scott

"I don't care what they say about me... I just want to eat." - Pam Beesley

"I am Beyoncé always." - Michael Scott

"I want to be wined, dined, and sixty-nined." - Kevin Malone

"Why are you the way that you are?" - Michael Scott

"I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend, but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail." - Michael Scott

"And you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser!" - Michael Scott

"Well just tell him to call me ASAP as possible." - Michael Scott

"I hate looking at your face, I wanna smash it." - Michael Scott

"Just pretend we're talking until the cops leave." - Creed Bratton

"I declare bankruptcy!" - Michael Scott

"I am better than you have ever been or ever will be." - Dwight Schrute

"Sometimes when I start a sentence, I don't even know where it's going, I just hope I find it along the way." - Michael Scott

"Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." - Andy Bernard

"You don't know me; you've just seen my penis." - Michael Scott

"Apart from hitting her with my car, I have been so kind to that woman." - Michael Scott

And of course the always classic…

"That's what she said." - Michael Scott

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Best One Liners From 'The Office'

An office is a place where dreams come true.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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