Best One Liners From 'The Office' | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Best One Liners From 'The Office'

An office is a place where dreams come true.

69175
Best One Liners From 'The Office'
Word Press

Dunder Mifflin Paper Company was home to some of the best characters in television history, and even though the series has ended, we can still binge-watch our favorite episodes (thank you Netflix Gods). Known for their witty and dry humor, the writers of "The Office" have provided fans with quotable one-liners appropriate for all situations.

"Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me!" - Michael Scott

"If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about?" - Creed Bratton

"'You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take' - Wayne Gretzky." - Michael Scott

"Abraham Lincoln once said that, 'If you're a racist I will attack you with the North.'" - Michael Scott

"You all took a life here today. The life of the party." - Michael Scott

"Suddenly, she's not yo ho no mo'." - Michael Scott

"I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs." - Kevin Malone

"The Taliban is the worst… great heroin though." - Creed Bratton

"Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?!" - Michael Scott

"Where are the turtles?!" - Michael Scott

"If I don't have some cake soon, I might die." - Stanley Hudson

"Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame." - Michael Scott

"Who is Justice Beaver?" - Dwight Schrute

"I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." - Michael Scott

"There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague." - Dwight Schrute

"Dwight, you ignorant slut!" - Michael Scott

"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice." - Michael Scott

"The worst thing about prison was… the dementors!" - Michael Scott

"I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious." - Michael Scott

"I don't care what they say about me... I just want to eat." - Pam Beesley

"I am Beyoncé always." - Michael Scott

"I want to be wined, dined, and sixty-nined." - Kevin Malone

"Why are you the way that you are?" - Michael Scott

"I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend, but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail." - Michael Scott

"And you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser!" - Michael Scott

"Well just tell him to call me ASAP as possible." - Michael Scott

"I hate looking at your face, I wanna smash it." - Michael Scott

"Just pretend we're talking until the cops leave." - Creed Bratton

"I declare bankruptcy!" - Michael Scott

"I am better than you have ever been or ever will be." - Dwight Schrute

"Sometimes when I start a sentence, I don't even know where it's going, I just hope I find it along the way." - Michael Scott

"Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." - Andy Bernard

"You don't know me; you've just seen my penis." - Michael Scott

"Apart from hitting her with my car, I have been so kind to that woman." - Michael Scott

And of course the always classic…

"That's what she said." - Michael Scott

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Vivien Leigh
Revelist

I've lived a whole 21 years with an RBF (Resting Bitch Face), so naturally, I go through most of these struggles on a daily basis.

And before you ask, yes I'm fine. No, I'm not mad. This is just my face, so take it or leave it! To those of you who have been #blessed with an RBF, you'll probably relate to these more than you'd like to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Iconic Duos: Timeless Legends

From Luke and Leia to Beyonce's twins...

774570
Luke and Leia from Star Wars, a iconic duo
Lucasfilm

“Name a more iconic duo... I'll wait." OK, well, if you insist. In no particular order, here's a list of 100 iconic duos that seem to be timeless.

SEE MORE: This Is The ICONIC Disney Sidekick You Are To Your BFF, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

A Candid Letter to My Best Friends Ex

Because this is the real form of torture you deserve.

555
middle finger
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

What's up Asshat,

I've composed a list of things that I wish upon you, and they're harsh and cruel. These things are things that I wouldn't wish upon my worst of enemies, not even that Starbuck's barista who always screws up my order, not even him. You fall into a whole other category of hate. You surpass Starbucks barista. Congratulations, I'm actually a pretty nice person, making you worthy of every single bit of torture I wish upon you. What are these things I wish upon you you might ask?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

College Life: As Told By Bob's Burgers

If there's anyone who understand the struggles of college, it's the Belcher family

1193
Bob's Burgers

College is a time of gaining independence, exploring new things, and copious amounts of Netflix. If you're like me, you often find yourself laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the situations you find yourself in. Here are ten times Bob's Burgers accurately captured college life.

1. What you're pretty sure your upstairs neighbors do at 3am every morning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Why Theater Kids Are the Greatest People Ever

Supportive and spontaneous human beings are the best.

888
Theater Kids

Throughout school, the theater department has always been my go-to place with go-to people when I need advice, a dance party, or just someone to listen to me vent.

You never know what's going to happen when you're dealing with theatre or what kind of characters you'll encounter. We have too much fun doing anything! One time in my senior year acting class, we spent an entire class period watching Bob's Burgers, and it was the greatest class period ever.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments