Going on Twitter or Facebook today is like going to a mall. Stores all around you are advertising “50% off ALL ITEMS” and “Buy one, get one free” which peaks your interest just enough to take a walk inside the store. Once you have been lured inside, you realize that “all items” means just socks and “buy one, get one free” applies only to the candy bars up at the front of the store (which in reality, would not be half bad). Replace those stores with articles, and the advertisements with clickbait headlines, and you have the internet. Clickbait is defined as “(On the Internet) content whose main purpose is to attract attention and encourage visitors to click on a link to a particular web page.” It is so difficult to stop yourself from clicking on headlines that promise such emotion, but at the same time it is so easy to be let down when the articles don’t follow through. But this article is bound to blow your mind, so keep reading to find out!
1. “You won’t believe what happens next!”
This sort of headline draws you in with its promise of what’s ahead. It gives you a small snippet of a story that has potential but raises the potential bar even higher by ensuring that what is about to come will be unbelievable. More than likely, however, it is actually an ending that is exactly what you expected. You wonder why you fell for it in the first place… But wait, this next article is bound to be actually unbelievable right?
2. “#7 will shock you.”
Ah lists, which I will get to later on this list (list-ception), are always a sure fire way to attract readers. They are especially powerful when one particular item on that list is promised to be a gem. It doesn’t matter if numbers 1-6 are a bust, as long as number seven pulls through, then it will all be totally worth it. Anticipation grows as you click on the first few numbers, which are not extremely noteworthy, but remember that does not matter because number seven is going to be gold. At number four your phone freezes. Is it still worth it? Well at this point you are already halfway there, you have to keep on chugging. Five and six take forever to load and you begin to curse your phone. But finally, you click that “next” button after viewing number 6, your heart begins to beat faster and palms become sweaty, in perfect anticipation for the shocking #7 which is… The beach. The surprising #7 on “places you are most likely to get wet” is the beach.
3. "What Percent Pizza Are You?"
I must admit this is a question that I ask myself daily. Considering how much I eat pizza, I would be willing to guess my score is pretty high *proceeds to answer questions truthfully*... Only 12%?! Maybe if I take it again I will get a higher score *proceeds to answer questions in a way which are obviously designed to emulate pizza*... 92%! That seems more like it.
4. Misleading Celebrity Pictures
Celebrities are interesting. Brad Pitt could sneeze and it would make headlines. So when you see your favorite actress or singer in the picture for an article touting “Celebrities who never shower,” you may be simultaneously relieved and angry to find Mr. Pitt not on the list, even though he is the face of the article. You will instead find your favorite Lifetime movie actor or Axel Stone from your local rock band. Rock on Axel, but maybe take a shower next time.
5. “What Decade You Actually Should Have Been Born In”
I love to find out new things about myself. Should I truly have been born in the 50s? Do I really belong in a white t-shirt and leather jacket? (The answer is yes, by the way.) This applies to all headlines that promise to tell me something about myself that I did not know. Where I actually should be living, what celebrity I actually have the most in common with, what movie actually is my favorite. I learn so many new (mostly incorrect) things about myself every day with these articles!
6. “We can tell what your favorite food is with just one question.”
If the question is “What is your favorite food?” then I may buy that. Otherwise, often these tests are either wildly incorrect or so general that it applies to almost everyone. My spirit animal is Beyoncé, not a squirrel, thank you very much. However, I do concede that there are those rare occasions where these articles get it spot on. Sometimes, they just get me.
7. Lists
Lists will get me every time. Every. Single. Time. If I see a top 10 list, I will be clicking on it immediately. “Top 10 hunting sites in Southern Mississippi.” Do I hunt? No. Do I live in Mississippi, or plan on visiting Mississippi anytime soon? Also no. But there may be a time when I need to find a deer in the heart of Mississippi and I will now be prepared. I absolutely will defend lists, because I truly do enjoy them. I enjoy hearing people’s opinions on who is the best quarterback of all time, or finding out the richest actors in the world. Useful or not, I will be clicking every time I see a list.
