I will be the first to tell you, I hate being in charge. I don't like people looking to me for the answers, or waiting for me to tell them what to do. I am shy. I like to work in the background, behind the scenes, with the least amount of attention as possible.
One of the things I have struggled with internally is knowing God wants me to be a leader. I have been asked to lead a group in prayer, or be in charge of a small group on youth trips, and when given the option to do it or not, I always shy away from the role. Am I proud of that? Of course not. I wish more than anything that I could throw away my hesitance and be bold in front of others.
Currently I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I am learning to say "yes" and trusting that my Father will give me the courage and words to speak. But I also think He knows the deepest depths of my being and where I find true joy in praising Him is serving.
I was listening to KLove the other morning and a song by Tenth Avenue North came on. The chorus was:
"You're changing my heart to want what You want, to love how You love and that is enough. There's no greater plan that I need to know. You only ask me to follow and want what you want."
"You only ask me to follow" has really stuck with me. I believe that is the best way I can be a leader. Following God, living my life for Him, and allowing His glory and love to pour out of me onto others. That how I can lead the world to God.
I don't have to be a preacher standing up in front of a congregation every Sunday, or a Sunday School teacher, or a Youth Group leader. I don't have to be in the spotlight by human standards. I will be in God's spotlight by following Him, and people noticing something different about me.
I hope and pray to live my life in such a way that people wonder what I have that fills my heart with so much joy, that gives me compassion on people that are hurting, that helps me forgive the ones who have done me wrong, that allows me to emit love on every person I come in contact with. Then I can tell them about my Jesus, the love of my life, that I strive to follow everyday.
I am a leader because I have decided to follow Jesus. He has changed my heart to want what He wants. I live my life differently because He resides in me, and He leads me daily. Because I follow Him, I can lead others to get to know The Savior of the world.