I am Tina Belcher. There I said it. There are several times during my day that I just look at my actions or my phrases and go "wow... I am Tina." But I am not the only person who identifies with her (or am I?) Here are 21 quotes that prove we all identify with Tina Belcher.

1. "I am a smart, strong, sensual woman."

Heck yeah, you are! Don't let anyone ever tell you anything less.

2. "If he has a butt for touching and lips for kissing, I'm going for that."

Replace he with she and you have most modern relationships

3. "Don't have a crap attack."

The equivalent to "take a chill pill"

4. "Your ass is grass, and I'm going to mow it."

Beautiful poetry! This can be flirty or competitive, the choice is yours!

5. "I'm no hero, I put my bra on one boob at a time."

Every woman should have a right to say this at some point in their life.

6. "I wear glasses, not hearing aids, mom."

Sassy teenagers for the win

7. "I've seen enough romantic comedies to know you're probably going to fall for me."

When you see that cute boy who is also kind of a bad boy and you think you can change him.

8. "Let's see your "everything's fine" face."

Just pretend... that's what most people do anyway.

9. "Ugh, my heart just pooped its pants."

When that boy turns out to be the worst...

10. "Is it possible to be in love with 25 people at once?"

Isn't this what fandoms are for?

11. "Here is a bunch of numbers. They may look random, but they're my phone number."

When you try to flirt... OK maybe just when I try to flirt

12. "That smells exotic... like ranch dressing."

When you go a restaurant that is waaaaaaay to fancy for you...

13. "I didn't know our country was bi. Good for us."

Happy National pride day!

14. "Do you think horses get songs stuck in their head?"

Has she been in my 3 a.m. Google searches?

15. "Oh, it's OK. I guess I wasn't meant to have a good life."

That one week or month when nothing in the world goes well...

16. "If you can't handle the sass, you can't handle this ass."


17. "If you need me, I'll be down here on the floor dying."

When you get your grades....

18. "I don't need a boy to pay attention to me. I pay attention to myself."

You are a strong, independent woman (or man) who don't need no significant other.

19. "That goes in the butt bank.”

When I notice a beautiful butt....

20. "“I’ve logged over 3,000 fantasy hours on my relationship.”

Why yes, my fan fiction is coming along quite nicely.

21. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."


Jazlyn Rust: The Movie

Summary: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Our beauitful baby girl, bringing people from all walks of life to one character.