I wrote this for my English class. The assignment was meant to mimic National Public Radio's acclaimed "This I Believe" series.

The old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me,” is something that I looked at as a goal rather than something to be disproved. I knew it wasn’t true; broken bones heal but the scars left behind by words are permanent. All I knew is that I wanted to be someone who didn’t care about how others perceived them. I would learn in the next few years that this ideal would be something near impossible to achieve.

My own thoughts are my worst enemy. They are unforgiving, harsh, and relentless. There is not a moment I can escape them. I believe that my negative thoughts stem from an inner conflict with myself. And I am painfully aware of what caused this conflict.

Shortly after I turned sixteen, I was bullied. I don’t like to use the “B” word, I would much rather say that some idiot attacked me for no reason. I always thought that to be bullied meant to be weak, and unable to stand up for yourself. It made me feel like nothing and led me down the dark road of thinking that there was something wrong with me, rather than something wrong with the person who was causing me turmoil. I do not open up enough for others to stir conflict with me, so the conflict is always inside of me, against me. I am the only one who knows me completely, so I know what aspects of myself to fight against. Others fight against external impressions, which is completely ignorant. If there are parts of you that you would dare not reveal with anyone, wouldn’t that be the case with everyone? How easy it is to judge the surface!

I thought far and wide as to what my problem was. I had done nothing throughout all of my school years than mind my own business, keeping to myself with the exception of my friends. I had done nothing to provoke any kind of action against me, so why was it happening? When I couldn’t come up with a logical reason, I realized the truth. The attack had nothing to do with me. It was the attacker.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change what happened to me. Due to the experience, I developed a new sense of empathy for everyone around me. I already considered myself an overly empathetic person, mostly due to the fact that my little brother had Autism. I was always disgusted witnessing anyone mistreating another person. It was always uncalled for, and sadly the victim would usually believe that they had done something wrong rather than the other way around.

I believe that my empathy towards people is my best trait. I go to great lengths to not let myself get angry with anyone, whether it be family, friends, or strangers. I don’t know what others go through, so it is not up to me to judge. I am glad that I’ve had the experiences I’ve had, as they’ve shaped me into who I am today. In my lowest moments, those when I am caught in a trap wishing that I hadn’t gone through what I had gone through, I refer to one of my favorite verses,” There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.” This verse exemplifies the notion that we should be thankful for difficult situations, as they don’t destroy us but make us stronger for the future. It is this that I believe.