I have always been described as a nice person. I find joy when people compliment me about being comforting, caring, and just a really good friend. However, I never thought being described as "too nice" would feel like an insult. This is my reasoning behind this saying and why I take it so critically.
I will invest myself in someone else's life before my own.
I am a two on the Enneagram if that tells you anything. I try not to let some test define me, but I knew I was a two before I even took the test. I need to make sure everyone else is okay before I worry about my own self.
Your feelings come first.
My feelings come second. I have always been like this, which is not a bad thing. I honestly find joy in listening to people and caring about them. Some people would even say this is a strength, which I do view it as such.
However, I tend to be so wrapped up in someone else's life, that I forget about my own. I push away my own feelings. Sometimes, I view this as a weakness that I need to work on.
"Too nice" seems like a negative action.
When people say I am too nice, I feel like they are saying that I went above and beyond unnecessarily. They are saying that I care too much. But when did caring too much become so bad?
Did I miss a new trend where we are only supposed to care about ourselves? I didn't realize that you could do too much of a good thing.
When told this, I feel like I have to justify why I act like that. I remember the first time I was told I was too nice, I was so taken back. I immediately took it the wrong way because it just did not seem right.
I don't just want to be known as being kind.
When I was in Kindergarten, our name tags were words that described us and that started with the same letter as our first name. Mine was "Kind Kate."
Don't get me wrong, I want to be that person who is described as nice. I am grateful that people see me as a nice person and someone that they can come to whenever.
But I also want to be more than that. I want people to know about my successes and failures. I want people to know about my happy and sad moments. I want people to know about me.
Let me be kind.
This seems like it contradicts my previous point, but I promise you it doesn't. Even though I want to be described as more than kind, being a comforting person is literally who I am.
This is how I show my love. I feel at peace when I am taking care of someone else. Yes, I do want to work on listening more to my own feelings, but I will never stop being how I am. So, let me care about you. Let me listen to you. All I ask though is that you do the same for me.
To the people who encourage me to be the best person I can be, thank you.
I take this description critically, because I know I need to work on it. I need to work on focusing more on myself and becoming the best person that I can be.
So if you are someone that describes me as nice, thank you. This pushes me to continue to be the person that I am and truly makes me happier. I am working on this insecurity and how I view it. It is a process, but it honestly has changed me for the better.
To the person reading this, do not change who you are. No one can tell you that you are too much of something. You have strengths and weaknesses for a reason, and you are the only person that can work on yourself.