Why do people find it so difficult to speak what’s on their mind? And not only speak what’s on their mind, but also to stand up for what they believe in, to ask questions that they have, or to tell others how they are feeling.

Sometimes, we bottle these things inside us and our own happiness is sacrificed.

One reason for doing this could be that we are afraid of being judged. It’s human nature to worry about what others will think, even if it’s subconsciously. We worry about being too honest, too straightforward, too pushy, and too vulnerable.

I know it’s easier said than done, but stop worrying about what other people will think of you. If you have a question, ask it. If something is bothering you, say it. Speak what’s on your mind, because you can either worry about it internally, or get it off your chest. You will feel better when it’s out in the open, and then you can stop playing out in your head every possible scenario of how the conversation could go; trust me, I’ve been there. No matter how the conversation goes, whether it went better than you thought it would, or it was even worse than the worst situation you had planned out in your head, you can stop worrying about it because you have your answer.

On the opposite side to being afraid of being judged, another reason people tend to be less straightforward is that they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. We’ve all been in the position where we want to talk to our friends about something they did that bothered us, or tell someone we’ve been seeing that we’re just not into them anymore. But these things aren’t necessarily easy to talk about. No one wants to hurt someone they care about, or have them take what you’re saying the wrong way. The best thing to do, though, is to be honest and choose your words carefully. Your friend will be happy you talked to them about something that was bothering you, rather than being passive aggressive, and you did the person you’d been seeing a favor when you told them it’s not working out, because otherwise their feelings for you would have grown strong, while you continued to care less and less.

Could it be nerve-racking to muster up the courage and have a difficult conversation with someone? Absolutely. And is it tough to be straightforward and not sugarcoat things? Absolutely. But sometimes the hardest things we have to do are the right things.

We’ve all been on both sides of these situations. We’ve been the one talking to our best friend about the time they said something that really offended us, and we’ve also been on the flip side. We’ve been told in relationships that things just aren’t working out, and we’ve also been the one to say those words.

I guess the best thing you can do when having these conversations with people you care about is to remember how you felt when you were in their shoes. This doesn’t mean to sugarcoat things; it just means to be delicate with your words. Be as straightforward as you can to avoid miscommunication or confusion, but also be compassionate.

You can’t worry too much about what people will think, or the fact that you might hurt someone’s feelings. The reason is that your own feelings are important too. And to feel anxious, nervous, or scared is not fun.

So next time you’re in this position, don’t allow yourself to be stuck there for too long. Find courage within yourself, because we all have it, and just be honest.