New Year's Eve is pretty much the worst holiday known to mankind. How many other days do you count down for it to be done already and then celebrate once it’s over?! NYE is even worse if you’re single. Y’know — because you celebrate the day finally ending by kissing someone.
Fortunately, we found someone who knows your Single Lady Struggle: 30 Rock’s own Liz Lemon.
While most of us would probably rather ring in the New Year workin’ on our night cheese — that’s probably not the case. Because, much like a Liz Lemon party, people seem to think New Year’s Eve plans are mandatory.
We feel ya. More importantly, Liz feels ya.
Check out these 11 stages that every single girl goes through on NYE:
1. Bitterness
You bought the dress. You made the plans, but you are definitely not happy about it.
2. Denial
You're not, like, totally single. There's that guy that only texts you after 2 A.M. That sorta counts....right??
3. Anger
And your friends won't like you when you're angry or hungry (hangry)! Not that you're totally clear on what the difference is.
4. Drinking
Heavily....maybe? Hopefully? Who knows.
5. Flirting
Shamelessly, probably.
6. Jealousy
Make sure you let everyone — your squad, bartenders, strangers, etc. — know just how envious you are by starting all complaints with, “It’s not that I’m jealous but…”
Spoiler: That means you’re jealous.
7. F.O.M.O. (Fear of Missing Out)
Repeat after us: That other bar/club/bar/whatever will be just as bad. You will be just as single. You’ll only want to go somewhere else.
8. Bargaining
“Dear higher powers of NYE, we promise we’ll actually follow through with our resolutions if you get us the hell out of here. And/or make Zac Efron appear in front of us."
9. Resentment
You hate your friends for bringing you here. You hate that guy you’re dancing with just for, well, existing. You hate yourself for going along with it (the plans and the “dancing”). You hate whoever decided New Year’s Eve should be celebrated.
10. Depression
Guess we’re ending this year — and starting next — on a low note. Doesn't get much worse than this.
11. Acceptance
Whatever. It’s almost midnight. You almost survived. And you're pretty sure there's cold pizza waiting for you at home.
Happy New Year!! Good luck ladies!!
