Over the past year or two, I've been learning a lot about the value of being given a second chance. Whether it's a second chance at a relationship, a chance at improving academics, a chance at trying to understand someone else's perspective, etc. There is a certain kind of beauty in being given the opportunity to be able to try again because there was a forgiveness, a humbleness, and a whole lot of grace that had to be given in order to get there.
On that note, you can probably conclude that I am very far from being a perfect person. I've messed up things the first time around because I took that time/relationship for granted. I've hurt people's feelings and intentionally withdrawn myself from certain situations because I didn't know what else to do. I've been the person who was too quick to draw conclusions and acted on them without thinking about the consequences. I've convinced myself that I'm strong when really I haven't completely dealt with the aftermath of my mistakes. I've struggled with acting like everything's okay when it's not. I've avoided confrontations in the past. The list goes on and on.
But guys, the thing is it took me so long to reach a point in my life where I was able to admit that I should've handled that situation in a different way or reached out when there was silence. Giving grace to others is something that I am still working on. In fact, it's probably something that I will wrestle with for the rest of my life because I've known what it's like to be on both sides of the pendulum.
On one side, you're going to be the one who makes the decision you're going to follow through with. On the other side, you're the person/thing that will feel the impact of the choice that the other person makes.
From experience, it's probably more difficult to be the receiver of the consequences that follow the choice someone else made because you may feel rejection, sadness, anger, denial, etc. You'll probably feel weak, taken advantage of, and possibly even violated because you don't have complete control of the situation. Everything may just hurt for a long time until one day it's just a little and then nothing anymore.
On the other hand, when you're the one who makes the decision, in the moment you might feel like you have all the power and control, which will probably make you cold and unsympathetic. But, when it sets in that you were mistaken, you may be too prideful to admit that you were wrong. Then you may become bitter to the aftermath, which will affect everything in your life.
Whatever part you played, it's rare that you'll ever have a hand extended to you from the other party or gain the opportunity to retake those classes, etc.
When I've been given second chances, I was shown multitudes of grace when I didn't deserve it. My heart grew softer, and I was able to feel more compassion for others because for a season, I knew what it was to be on the outside.
So, when you're given a second go 'round at the thing/person you underestimated the value of the first time, please try harder. Because no matter what side you found yourself on, you know what it's like to lose the thing/person you never anticipated to. And if you're like me, you'd put in the effort plus much more to be able to prove you get it now.
Be willing to hear out the other party if they extend a hand. And if you're the one reaching out, you're already halfway there. Be willing to put in the effort to excel and succeed because you know what it feels like to fail.
I hope if you find yourself being given a second chance, you'll let life mold you and use you to be a better person the second time around because these days re-dos are a very rare and precious thing.
