There is being present and then there is being physically present. The moments that are the most significant in my mind are the moments that I was the most present during. I don’t sit back and fondly remember when I sat at my desk in front of a stack of books, obsessing over my grades. Or if you're like me and overanalyze everything, my time spent waffling back and forth between decisions or different scenarios does not make the list either.
In fact, this is the very mindset that deters from being present.
On January 1st, I remember driving down the coast of Lake Superior. It was unbelievably cold, yet the lake hadn't frozen over. The waves kept crashing against the shore and all of the pebbles glistened in the sand.
I remember going to breakfast on March 17th. I was leaving for Tallahassee later that day and it was the first time it registered that I would be living 5 hours away from home next year. Yet, I was eager to go tour my future school. drank coffee and ate toast.
April 30th and May 1st. I went to prom both days. I guess that falls under the "perks of having a boyfriend that doesn't attend the same school as you category". I remember feeling incessant excitement for two weeks straight.
On May 19th, I graduated from high school and after watching three classes before me wear that hideous yellow cap and gown, it was now my turn. It turns out, the color yellow wasn't as loathsome as I thought it would be. Orange is worse. This was a "wow, this is really happening" wave of emotions.
On June 7th, I left for a trip to New York. Cities are so exciting and the taxis reminded me that yellow is just as bad of a color as I thought. I remember my feet were absolutely aching, but it was okay because I was standing on the Brooklyn Bridge.
August 25th came and move-in day had arrived. Moving was a long process, but my HGTV vision for my dorm room was coming together. Florida State University became my home.
November 11th marked one year spent with my boyfriend. We made it! I was thankful that he finally though to ask me for my phone number one year ago and was able to forgive me for spilling ice cream on him the first time I met him.
Now that you are more-or-less caught up with my life over the past year, I promise that there's a point to this. This is not a personal memoir. My point is that I remember each of these events in detail and with fondness because in that moment, I was present. Not physically present, but present. I try to remind myself is that life was not meant to be taken so seriously all the time. Our worries that detract us from the present have a way of making us forget that. There are plenty of things to worry about, I know. But there are also plenty of things to smile about. Allowing yourself a few of those moments each day is a good start.
