When being the oldest child, you sometimes get the short end of the stick. For example, parents are usually much more strict with the first child than with the last child; you get to see how your parents' responses change over time with each child. It can be a little annoying, especially when you couldn't see that movie until you were a certain age, but the younger kids got to see it when they were much younger than you were at the time. But other times it can be really fun. As the oldest child, I was able to get a lot of alone time with my mom before the other kids came along, and since I'm the oldest child, I have a really special relationship with my parents-- a relationship that none of the other kids can have, and that's something that I cherish.

Being the oldest of five children is interesting... that's the best word I can use to describe what it's like. When I come home from college, I always forget how loud the house can become with the roaring sounds of banging and friendly noise, so I easily get a lot of headaches. But after a few days, I'm used to it once more and am able to tune it out. It can be fun being the oldest, though. My brothers are teenagers now, (they're going to kill me for writing this) so they ask me winding questions about growing up and maturing -- normal things in which high school boys go through. I made sure a long time ago to make a safe place for them where they are able to ask or tell me anything they wanted.

Before I left for school, I would make an effort to take them out separately for sushi or fro-yo and simply talk to them. I know it made them feel special, and that made me really happy. Even though I try to maintain a healthy relationship with them, the boys and I are four and six years apart, so we have that brother-sister-argumentive-love/hate relationship. It's easy to get into a stupid argument with them over the littlest things. But it's also easy to laugh with them about stupid things, too. Watching them grow up is weird. They both have girlfriends now, which as their older sister, is naturally eerie to see. It's easy to feel strange about it, but it's hard to feel good about it. Right now, I feel neutral. Maybe when they get older I'll have a more constructed opinion about them having girlfriends, but for now I just kind of ignore it. Unless they need to ask me certain questions, that is, then I have to be there for them. I just can't stress enough how freaking weird it is that they're little men now. They're bigger than me, they have armpit hair and girlfriends. Weird.

When I was fourteen, the twins were born, and I was so excited for them to arrive -- I couldn't contain it. Since the age difference is so great, I hold a much different relationship with the twins. I have always called them my babies, and I treat them more gently than I have ever treated the boys, which is just because of the significant age difference. When they were first born, I was changing diapers, feeding them and cuddling with them after baths. And it wasn't like my mom made me do any of those things -- I was just so eager to have little babies in my life, I wanted to do all those things. Now, it's not any different than how it used to be. They're six now, and it's just so amusing to talk to them about their friends at school or what they are irritated about.

I was really sad when I went off to college -- I felt sullen for leaving them behind. The twins and I are really close, which probably sounds strange from an outside perspective, but we have a great relationship. I make sure to call them when I'm away so that they know that I'm always there for them. When the twins grow up and get mad at my parents for something, I want them to know that they can come to me. That's something my mom and I joke about -- if the twins ever get mad at our parents, they'll just be sent to my house when they're, like, fourteen and I'm twenty-eight. Watching them grow up is both heart-warming and heart-wrenching... I am thrilled that they're doing sports and all these great things, but is it too much to ask for them to stay little forever? No, right?

It's a roller coaster ride being the oldest. From giving advice to giving kisses, to arguments and a loud house, it's a real treat to be the oldest, especially the oldest of five. People always ask me if I tire from having such a large family, and the answer is yes, sometimes, but most of the time, it's actually really fun -- there's never a dull moment, that's for sure.