You know what's really annoying? Being ogled at and having the fact that you're Middle-Eastern when you're not even doing Middle-Eastern things pointed out all the time. These are some common comments and questions that are frequently said. Included are the sassy responses that go through my head every time. Do I ever say them out loud? No. Will I say them here for my own entertainment and yours? 100-percent yes. Enjoy.
"What are you?"
This is honestly one of the rudest questions. It's like "What are you? An animal? A tree?" Um, I'm a human being. This question is capital "R" Rude because it's a question that's basically saying "it should be obvious what question I'm asking because you should be used to being dehumanized by now". Ummmm NO. Proper question, "what ethnicity are you?" You're welcome.
"No, but like, where are you really from?"
When you ask me where I'm from and I tell you Michigan, and you retort with "no, where are you really from?", I am still from Michigan, because, you know, I was born there. Again, the question they're really asking is "what ethnicity are you?" and again, you're welcome.
"You don't act brown"
If you've been born and raised in the USA there's a good chance you have adhered to more American culture than Middle-Eastern and have a tendency to act accordingly, which then prompts this stupid question from other people because in their minds you're brown on the outside but act "white" on the inside so really "you don't act brown" also translates to "why are you white?". Dumbasses.
"Why do you have so much hair?"
Because, I'm fabulous. Look, I know I have a lot of hair. I got it on my arms, my toes, and all over my face. Girl, you bet I know my mustache is poppin'. You wanna pet it? Us Middle-Eastern's are just naturally thick and dark haired, get over it.
"I love your eyebrow. . .s"
Thank you. No, I don't have to do anything to them other than pluck them a lot. AND I'm fully aware that you were hinting at the fact that I currently have one eyebrow. I've been lazy, I just haven't plucked in the middle for a while. It's fine.
"Do you know any terrorists?"
Seriously? Of course I don't. That was stupid. Next question please. Or better yet, maybe don't.
"You're Muslim, right?"
When you assume you make an "ass" of "u" and "me". Not everyone that's Middle-Eastern is Muslim, stop trying to make yourself look cultured, you failed, go home.
"When did you learn English?"
Same time as you, love. Same time as you.
"You speak English really well!"
Yeah, I've only lived here my entire life.
"You remind me of Frida Khalo."
It's the eyebrow thing again isn't it? (Sigh).
"What kind of brown are you?"
What bullshit question did you just ask me? Try again. Hint: the question you're looking for is "What ethnicity are you?"
"Your mom is white? OMG you look nothing like her!"
First of all: WRONG. I am my momma's carbon copy, I am just the brown version. I guess they when they said "I don't see color" what they meant was "I'm over-compensating cause all I see is color".
"Were you adopted?"
Just because you see me hanging out with my white parent does not mean that my other parent is also white. Y'all just assuming that there are these homogeneous couples. Also, again, I look just like my mom. Lame.