Has anyone ever asked you to tell a little about yourself, and you froze? The first answers that come into your head are the standard ones: where you're from, what grade level you're in, where you go to school, your age, or your major. It's like we all have little ID tags attached to us. Abigail Taylor. New York. Sophomore art major. 19. Houghton College.
And for the most part, this is all that people will learn about you. Many people you know will be aware of your ID tag details, but not much else. I mean, if we're being real here, it would be really hard to remember any more than that about EVERYONE we meet. Sometimes it's hard to even remember people's names whom you only briefly met or only knew for a time.
Some days, it can feel like all we're worth is what's on our tag. Like people are only looking at the simple details, like that's all there is to you. When people ask how you're doing, you give them the up-to-date details about your ID tag. Yes, I still love Houghton. Yes, the art major life is still going well. Yes, I realize I only have two years left of school. And then the conversation ends and you move along, without sharing any other details. You didn't ask for more information about the other person, either. In many ways, it's much less complicated to just stick with the basic details about each other and not go any further. Because beyond the ID tag...it gets messy.
I don't tell you that my art projects are tedious and complicated and totally frustrating. I don't tell you that I cried because my sculpture broke or because I spilled paint on my jeans and now they're ruined. I also don't tell you about how happy I am when I get to spend hours watercoloing, or the absolute joy I feel when a project is done well.
I don't tell you about how much I love chai tea lattes, or how much I laughed at dinner the other night, or about the new sweater I got that is really soft. I don't tell you about how much I love wearing mittens in the cold NY December mornings or about the hug I shared with a friend yesterday or about how excited I get looking at impressionist paintings or about how I wear fuzzy socks most days in the winter no matter what shoes I'm wearing or how much I love listening to Bon Iver and Mumford and Sons.
Do you understand now? There are so many tiny, intimate details that weave our personalities together. Details that go so far beyond our ID tags. Our lives are such complicated, weird, beautiful, messy tapestries. And often, we walk around talking to each other, but nobody really talks. We ask the polite questions and we move on. How boring is that? So instead of only remembering the ID tags of the people around you, try to see the tapestry. Remember that just like you, everyone else's lives are filled with strange little details and moments that create something absolutely unique and worth hearing about.
Be a good listener, be a good friend, and be kind. Find the tapestry, not just the tag.
