"Wanna chill?” That seems to be the thing to say nowadays. Instead of going out on dates and getting to know each other, our culture has become sexually driven, and we thrive off instant gratification. Being a hopeless romantic in today’s society is hard because you’re searching for something that is almost impossible to find. What happened to respecting each other? For once, I would like to be called beautiful instead of sexy. For once, I’d like to be appreciated for who I am as a person instead of being sexualized. With each person I talk to, I try to have hope, but it always comes back to the same thing.

For many, sex has become very casual with no strings attached. I can’t even begin to count how many times I have gotten messages from guys asking me to swing by their house at 2 a.m. I know that they aren’t planning on doing anything nice for me, so if I were to consider stopping by, I know for sure I wouldn’t see flowers and a string quartet. But this is what is so troubling. The men I encounter do not want to work for my affection, they just expect it. But as a romantic, I like seeing effort. My love and my physical attention is not something that is just handed over, and that is how it should be.

To all you girls out there, I understand, attention is nice. But when it is negative attention, is it really worth it? You are beautiful and you deserve to be treated with respect. If a man can’t respect you, walk away. It will be the best decision you ever make.

For us hopeless romantics, we want something real; something worth investing in. I don’t want to spend my time having pointless conversations with someone or dealing with a person who is only interested in me because of my body. So no, I will not come over at 2 a.m. and “chill”. No, I will not allow you to talk to me like I’m trash underneath your feet when I don’t comply or respond well to your filthy comments. And also, I will not expose my body to someone I barely know.

Sometimes, I wonder how these men don’t feel guilty about disrespecting women this way. How is it possible to lay your head down at night and go to bed knowing that you degraded another human being? It just doesn’t make sense to me.

It would be nice to go out on a date with someone, talk and get to know each other without intimacy even coming up in conversation. Like me for my mind, my eyes and my smile. Not for my thighs, my chest and so on. I’m not expecting Prince Charming to ride in on a white horse and carry me into the sunset. I don’t expect a perfect man. But I want someone to look into my eyes and see me.

The real me.