The "Late Night Text" is a complex, yet extremely "romantic" method of communication for your typical college boys.
Urban Dictionary defines the term as "When a male in need of testosterone release contacts a girl via text or phone call after midnight for a casual yet erotic hookup," with the example "I'm tryna latenight Melina, but she ain't budgin'". If you're a girl reading this article, we've all been Melina at one point in our lives.
The "late night text" has affected us all. We've all received one... whether it be a classic "wya?" text, a barely English, drunk attempt of texting or a terrible pickup line at 3 a.m., boys are getting quite creative with these texts nowadays.
A few of my friends have graciously given me some of their most bizarre examples of this epidemic. After hours of sorting through tons of laughable screenshots, here are the late night texts that describe it best:
Well, this is how its done boys. The guy who invites you over shortly after he sends a pledge to come get his clothes back from your room. That's romance if I've ever seen it.
Oh, you're probably so lonely after your dog died. It seems like you two were so close!
The guy who uses the election to get you to come over. Nicholas Sparks, I sense a new romance novel inspired by this one.
And just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder, it does. You, my friend, really know how to smooth talk a girl.
We all love a guy that refers to women as meat. Or sex as "boning" for that matter. How long could the line really be?
Dear whoever wrote this sad, unfortunate message... I think any girl can confidently say they would literally rather buy the entire Chipotle franchise than have sex with you after that response.
Well, at least this guy is honest. Maybe that was his strategy?
Well this guy took a creative spin on things... A for Effort! Dear Anonymous Boy who wrote this message, definitely consider changing your major to Art.
The guy who you thought just had a really good taste in music...
It seems like we have the next Einstein on our hands! If anyone is ever squished in the car for 2 hours and needs water, text this guy. He knows exactly what you need.
Oh, and the winner of the worst guy of them all goes to... this guy.
Through all the jokes and humor of these messages, I do have an obligation to comment on the sad truth of this last one. Do not let a boy, or anyone for that matter, ever tell you what to do with your body.
Some of these messages, however, belong in a hall of fame. Thank you to these boys for the entertainment, you have shown us all the true meaning of the "late night" text.
