There was one time in my junior year of high school that taught me a lesson I will never forget. I was sitting in the same room as this guy whom I knew had feelings for me, but I didn’t reciprocate them. I thought he was a good person, but I didn't feel attracted to him at all.

Then, one day, when me and this guy were sitting in the same room, another friend of mine sat next to me and indiscreetly shrieked “OH MY GOD. HE’S SO HOT.” Keeping as quiet as I could try to, I turned to her and asked her to clarify who she was talking about. My initial reaction was shock, which didn’t disappear right away since she begged me to find a way to get him to talk to her. I got them both in the position of having a conversation and while things never went further than that (to my knowledge), that moment changed my perspective forever.

What I realized was that the famous saying, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” wasn’t just a phrase used for the sake of saying it. The sentence holds a load of truth--what may be attractive to some of us is meant to be unattractive to some of us too. This is why so many people are so baffled by certain couple pairings, both celebrity and in their everyday lives.

It’s why while there are plenty of guys who fawn over the same supermodels girls look up to, there are just as many guys who “don’t get it.” I used to think that the person I found utterly and completely perfect was the same person who could turn heads in every room all over the world. Coming to the understanding I reached after witnessing my friend freak out over how “hot” the same guy I couldn’t find myself ever liking in that way was a wake-up call. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I finally understood that even though not everyone may find me beautiful, there are plenty of people who do. And at the end of the day, the only opinion of my outer beauty that matters is my own.

When my sister came to me about a problem she was having with some other kids in her school, an analogy came to my mind. I pointed at the window in our kitchen and asked her, “that’s a window, right?” She said yes.

So I added, “I can point to that window and say, that’s not a window, it’s a door. Does my opinion of what it is make it true? Just because I said that the window is actually a door, does that mean that it automatically turned into a door? No. It’s still a window. My opinion doesn’t change the truth.”

Just because someone believes or proclaims something to be true, it doesn’t mean that it is true. Just because I didn’t find the boy attractive, doesn’t mean he wasn’t attractive. It just means that I didn’t find him attractive. I later found out that my sister thought he was cute, too. (Go figure.)

So, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s not just a random saying made to exist. It’s true, and it’s important to understand. You won’t and don’t need everyone to find you attractive, and the right people already will.

Also, it’s impossible to make everyone like you. So instead of focusing on pleasing other people, focus more on making yourself happy and treating people with respect and kindness. It’s hard to find a nice person unattractive, after all.