I was wracking my brain for a topic for this article, but I was getting nowhere. My family was hanging out in the kitchen baking cookies eating cookie dough when I voiced my frustration. I was met with a lively chorus of suggestions from my four siblings, and while their ideas were highly amusing, they were not quite what I had in mind.
However, the people from whom those thoughts originated were all I needed.
For many of us with siblings, it is nearly impossible to put into words what those relationships mean to us. Siblings can be our best friends, role models, cheerleaders, teammates, chauffeurs, teachers, and so much more. Each family has a unique dynamic, and I can certainly only speak of my own. Nonetheless, there are a few common themes to which I think many children who come from large families will be able to relate.
It is not all about me. When children outnumber parents by more than two to one, it quickly becomes clear that attention must be divided. Sometimes one sibling has a school project due in 5 hours, and it is all hands on deck to make it happen. Sometimes one sibling falls off his skateboard and has to go to the ER, so another is late getting to a friend’s birthday party. In the end, it’s about the good of the team.
Someone always has a friend over. It is not uncommon to wake up and have three little neighbors sitting at the breakfast table, even when you didn't know they slept over. The more the merrier in our house.
I've learned to be tolerant of differences. All of my siblings have distinctive strengths, weaknesses, interests, special talents, etc. Being part of a big family taught me to be patient and understanding when others do not necessarily think and act exactly as I do.
The kitchen is not always clean. Actually, this applies to the whole house. I have learned to love that I do not live in a model home. Five children = a lot of stuff. My mom has always been more concerned with us being creative than she was with a spotless counter top and floor. Our family motto is “Homes are for free expressions, not good impressions.” Everyone else can deal with it.
I am never bored. Ever.
A quiet house is foreign territory. I am used to a constant, rhythmic hustle and bustle. When the house is empty, I have to turn on music or the TV just for comfort.
We've learned to take care of one another. Sometimes Mom and Dad are both off at soccer practices, hockey games, and parent meetings, leaving me to make sure a couple children are still alive and kicking when they return. If my sister is upset over a boy, it’s my first instinct to quickly use all of my personal embarrassing boy stories to make her feel better. When I’m crying, my little brother will tickle me to make me laugh. It’s just what we do.
We always have a squad behind us. Be mean to one of my siblings. I dare you. You’ll have four other very, very unhappy people on your hands. Break a heart in this family? Bad idea. We can mess with each other. But you can't.
Sharing rooms, bathrooms, and personal space is not an issue. I do not demand (nor do I want) space all to myself. I have always had someone to talk to as I fall asleep, and for that reason, I love having a roommate in college. I wouldn’t even know what to do with my own room.
Being part of a big family has shaped who I am, in the best way possible. My siblings are everything to me, and all I want in life is to see them happy. There’s something about being a part of a large family unit that is difficult to explain, but it is something I would not trade for the world.
As I was finishing up this article, my mom was cleaning behind the window shutters in our kitchen. She said, “How did this French fry and Cheeto get back here? *Sigh* Oh well.”
I’ll leave it at that.
